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Teen Poetry #6
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PoetryIsLife
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...in my boxers...

0 posted 2003-02-15 05:39 PM



Fire the gun
into the night air,
the breeze is cold,
the race has begun.

I bring you closer,
so you can feel my warmth.
I catch a whiff of your hair,
as I rub the language of your skin.

We are two frogs,
in the chaos of existence.
Pull me closer,
from across the distance.

My dreams of reality
are nothing but contradictions.
I grasp them as I enjoy,
and then I wake.
For I know
my life will be whole,
though my heart not so.

Rib'it.

© Copyright 2003 Daniel Redding - All Rights Reserved
PoetryIsLife
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1 posted 2003-02-15 05:40 PM


Sorry, Brian, I couldn't change that line. I'm still.... chewing on your suggestion. It may or not not happen. I understand your reasoning, but I also understand mine.

~Titus

Es ist gut, daß das Leben die Toten studieren sollte.

SEA
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2 posted 2003-02-15 06:12 PM


Titus......


"I bring you closer,
so you can feel my warmth.
I catch a whiff of your hair,
as I rub the language of your skin."

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm I like this

barbaraj
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since 2003-01-24
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3 posted 2003-02-16 12:39 PM


interesting poem. very interesting. you have my vote

~You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in people, than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.~


barbaraj
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Nova Scotia, Canada
4 posted 2003-02-16 12:39 PM


oops accidently posted twice!

~You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in people, than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.~

[This message has been edited by barbaraj (02-16-2003 12:40 PM).]

Isabel Galaxia
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5 posted 2003-02-16 10:55 PM


Wow!
If a guy wrote something like that for  me..

Bel

Poet deVine
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6 posted 2003-02-16 11:28 PM


I like this too. Well done!
PoetryIsLife
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7 posted 2003-02-17 03:45 PM


Thanks, everyone.

~Titus

"On the plains of Hesitation lie the blackend bones of countless millions, who, at the verge of victory, sat down to wait, and waiting - died."

  

PoeTik JusTice
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8 posted 2003-02-17 08:53 PM


This poem is...wow, really good! I loved it! Nice work!

XoXo Love Alwayz XoXo
     *~Serena~*
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love, and be loved in return." --Moulin Rouge

*Belabebeautiful*
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9 posted 2003-02-18 01:00 AM


As uaual I like this! I love your unique style something about it pulls me in everytime...this one is no different. I especailly liked the second stanza, great imagery..
~Live and Laugh~

People always ask me why I don't look toward my future I tell them to many interesting things are happening today.
~Bella~

Marshalzu
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10 posted 2003-02-18 10:45 AM


An interesting read Titus, I really enjoyed it
Marshalzu
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11 posted 2003-02-18 10:46 AM


Oops
vlraynes
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12 posted 2003-02-18 04:47 PM



I enjoyed this, Titus.
Nicely done.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

SEA
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13 posted 2003-02-19 10:33 AM


I  didn't see this was marked for the book!! Now I can vote way cool
Mistletoe Angel
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14 posted 2003-02-19 01:17 PM




(sigh) Oh Daniel, this is very true and heartfelt, sweet friend, reality is not the place you want to place your dreams, though you can embrace reality with the light of them! (big hugggssssss) This is wonderful, sweet friend, generally I do not drop into Teen Poetry, but I want so much to support the Teen Poets in finding places in Reflections as every teen here has a special voice deep inside them, a melody to behold, so you have my vote, yay, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a bautiful heart, sweet Daniel, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

PoetryIsLife
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15 posted 2003-02-19 10:54 PM



Waterbirdfly
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China
16 posted 2003-02-19 10:55 PM


YOUR poem is like that of Chinese poet.
PoetryIsLife
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17 posted 2003-02-19 11:02 PM


If that's a compliment, then thank you, fellow poet.

~Titus

"On the plains of Hesitation lie the blackend bones of countless millions, who, at the verge of victory, sat down to wait, and waiting - died."

  

devinechild22
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18 posted 2003-02-20 07:59 AM


I loved this. Truely passionate write. Good one.
         *Allison*

Lost Dreamer
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19 posted 2003-02-25 01:19 PM


This poem is very interesting, and I like it.

Sometimes we have to follow a stronger voice, even if it's silent.



frolicking dolphin
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20 posted 2003-02-25 02:55 PM


That was a very thoughtful poem, good write.

Karen

bsquirrel
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21 posted 2003-02-26 02:52 PM


Heh heh, like the end, the beginning and the middle.
PoetryIsLife
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22 posted 2003-02-26 03:44 PM


Thanks, to everyone, for replying, and letting me know what you think, and, as well, for voting. I appreciate it muchly!

~Titus

"On the plains of Hesitation lie the blackend bones of countless millions, who, at the verge of victory, sat down to wait, and waiting - died."
    

Skyfire
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23 posted 2003-02-26 10:18 PM


Muchly, eh? That's MY word, dude, and dont' you forget it   
Anyway, I've read this and reread this, and I really like the whole frog analogy *spins* Go Ti!

Sometimes you find a friend where once there wasn't one. Sometimes you find a love where once there was a friend.

anonymousfemale
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24 posted 2003-02-27 11:01 AM


Unique but interesting nonetheless. You've done a good job with this, Ti. The frog part threw me off for a moment but incorporated with the rest of the stanzas it makes sense. Bravo.

~AF~

"Write something, even if it's just a suicide note." -- Gore Vidal

Enchantress
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Canada eh.
25 posted 2003-02-27 06:31 PM


Love this..excellent choice for the book.
~Hugs~

~ Trace my body with your words..
And in doing so, you touch my heart. ~

serenity blaze
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26 posted 2003-02-27 07:02 PM


I liked the frogs. And agree with our chinese friend, that it lent an oriental flavor to it. I vote yes, lovie...

(and yeah, I know frogs lending an oriental flavor..grin...it's true their legs taste like chicken )

DawnG
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27 posted 2003-02-27 09:59 PM


This poem is quite interesting, I like it a lot.

                      Dawn

rimmie
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28 posted 2003-02-27 11:59 PM


WOW!...this was amazing! keep up the good job!

~RuZ~

rimmie
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Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
29 posted 2003-02-28 12:01 PM


I could have sworn i just replied...but ah well! Great job i have enjoyed many of your poems and you have yet to brake that sycle!

~RuZ~

[This message has been edited by rimmie (02-28-2003 12:02 AM).]

Nan
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30 posted 2003-02-28 09:10 AM


I like it...
Ladycat
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31 posted 2003-03-01 03:23 PM


Wow, wonderful read. You have my vote too.

Love,
ladycat

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beautiful of the arts, because it is no mere translation
or abstraction from life; IT IS LIFE I

Angel
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32 posted 2003-03-02 12:42 PM


Wow. I love it.
Angel
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33 posted 2003-03-02 12:43 PM


Forgot to vote...
garysgirl
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34 posted 2003-03-16 10:31 AM


Titus, I like this....the frog-love is cute to me...LOL
Sorry I missed it before, but my vote is in now...

"Love makes the world go around"
~with love and hugs from Ethel__GG~  
                  

WhiteRose
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35 posted 2003-03-20 12:15 PM


Different, unique, and really clever. Enjoyed.
Ina
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36 posted 2003-03-20 10:02 AM


I liked this, it was a nice read. "

"We are two frogs,
in the chaos of existence.
Pull me closer,
from across the distance"

I would have to say that is my favorite stanza, maybe cause..."we are two frogs" totally fresh and intersting.

Regina

"heaven truley knows that thou art false as hell...one that loved not wisely,but too well..she swore..'twas a strange ,'twas passing strange"-othello

PoetryIsLife
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37 posted 2003-03-25 07:35 PM


Thank you, everyone. Muchly appreciated comments.

~Titus

"On the plains of Hesitation lie the blackend bones of countless millions, who, at the verge of victory, sat down to wait, and waiting - died."
    

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