navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » Parents forgive me
Teen Poetry #6
Post A Reply Post New Topic Parents forgive me Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Song_for_Serenity
Member
since 2003-05-28
Posts 97
USA

0 posted 2003-07-07 03:41 PM


I don't know why, but this poem seems a little awkward to me.. could you guys help me figure out what it is?
_______

Parents forgive me
I know that you care
But sometimes life
Just doesn’t seem fair
You say you understand
But that’s hard to believe
When you say that
What are you trying to achieve?

Parents forgive me
I know that you care
But I just can’t believe you
When you say you’ve been there
Do you ever hear
The silent cries for help?
Could you play the hands
That I have been dealt?

Parents forgive me
I know that you care
But sometimes I can’t take
That disappointed stare
Those standards you’ve set
Seem impossibly high
I may not be the best
But at least I try

Parents I forgive you
Because I know that you care
And that you’re just trying your hardest
To help me prepare
I may not like the lectures
Said that I can’t take this anymore
But thanks for giving me the wings
So that I may one day soar.
________
Suggestions? Hope you enjoyed. Have a spiffy day!


~Angela
"Anything less than mad, passionate love is wasting your time...Life has too many mediocre things in it, love shouldn't be one of them..."

© Copyright 2003 Angela - All Rights Reserved
Savage Quiescence
Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326
Wandering
1 posted 2003-07-07 09:00 PM


The only part of this poem that I found akward was at the very end. The last two lines did not seem to flow to me. Other than that, I found this poem to be well written. It was simple, but powerful. It is a piece that may serve for the voice of many teenagers that feel the same. Thank  you for sharing this with us.
~Sky

"Whatever life brings, I've been through everything, but now I'm on my knees again" -Creed

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » Parents forgive me

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary