Just To Know I Am Alive - pipTalk Forums

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Triskaidekaphobia
Member

since 2003-02-05

Posts 251
In a state of disrepair...

0 posted 2003-02-11 11:05 AM

I feel the absence of cohesion.

So I will try to deny
the fun of monotony,
which dams the stream of lunacy.
I try to deny
that the absence of catastrophe
creates heightened emotional apathy.
I try to deny
the mental intricacies
that conjures forth complacency.
Without much success, I might add.

Instead I feel the need to die
just to know I am alive.
For this reason I submit myself
to assisted homicide.
The torturous devotions
of modern day Domicans.
I allow them time
their taxidermy to complete
by tearing the skin from my feet.
Leave me, allow me my recluse
to wallow in my fatal wounds
just to know that I was alive.

There should be a psychology of feet. For do we not make decisions with our legs and walk about on our brains? What do you mean "No, not really"?

Darkness
Member

since 2002-10-17

Posts 202
The place just beyond my eyes, where my spirit flies.

1 posted 2003-02-12 12:43 PM

Weird that you need to die to feel alive. Brilliant line though. I think everyone feels that once in their life.

Great Poem!

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

2 posted 2003-02-13 08:46 PM

...some serious talent you have, amazing piece you've written here. I loved the whole first stanza, this line was my favorite though, " the fun of monotony which dams the stream of lunacy." its the strangest feeling..that you described in your poem. I don't like to think about, I haven't felt like this in a long time. Thanks for sharing.
~Lexy

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

3 posted 2003-02-13 08:50 PM

Since I didn't read your first post I'll have welcome you now. So...Welcome to Pip!!
I like this poem, it's different but good.
At first I thought all those "big" words would get in the way of the poem, but I didn't have any trouble understanding it.
Well done!!
I like your name by the way.

WinterWren
"Even a fool knows that we cannot touch the stars, but that doesn't keep the wise from trying."

BrokenDreams
Member

since 2003-02-09

Posts 425
In The Clouds

4 posted 2003-02-13 10:43 PM

I've felt this way more often than I'd like to admit. good write, it was worded well.

jenn

!!!
Member

since 2000-08-12

Posts 137
VA (U.S.A)

5 posted 2003-02-13 11:39 PM

Great poem. Like a couple of others, I really liked the first stanza. The words "emotional apathy", really stood out for me. nice job!

BabieDoll
Member

since 2003-02-13

Posts 268
BFE

6 posted 2003-02-15 08:13 PM

Well-worded. I love the way you express your feelings visually throughout the piece. You are very talented.

~J.Lynn

"In life you must dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's never going to hurt..."

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