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Teen Poetry #6
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From Dust's First Blow
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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From Dust's First Blow |
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PoetryIsLife 
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... 
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Are we henceforth doomed? Tell me, or a curse upon you! From dust's first blow was destruction destined, always, for this, our mankind? For what shalt thou die? Punishment or pleasure, confess! Follow the trail of thy footsteps, to either destruction or joyful discourse. Shall you know? Or wait to find fresh. Life begs the question! This pain, this agony, torment gives birth to pleasure; henceforth the phase begins anew! Friend or foe! Say quick, say true. Tell me now, or meet my wrath first hand. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Daniel Redding - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ZetaCel Junior Member
since 2003-01-30
Posts 18 |
Whoa. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
I don't have any homework for you to do, so that makes me a friend  (teasing)I can see you standing in your room, shaking your clenched fist up in the air..... good job!  |
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barbaraj Member
since 2003-01-24
Posts 139Nova Scotia, Canada |
 wow! simply amazing. great work.  ~You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in people, than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.~ |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
I really liked this one, it was just great! I especially like the line, "Life begs the question!" Great job and Well done! WinterWren |
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Jaime
Registered
MemberPosts 250 |
With all the pretty and dramatic words, it seems like you're just playing at wrath. It doesn't strike me as being sincere. It strikes me as you're just watching too much tv lately. You know what I mean? I like it, but I've read much better from you. (Based on my feelings as to what a good poem is, obviously everyone else liked it a lot. So maybe I'm just weird.) - Jaime the faeries creep into my hair at night leaving it in terrible knots |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
I agree with Jaime that it does sound overly dramatic. However, it would fit nicely into a Shakespearean play. At least you kept the 16th century tone to it. Or was it 15th? Uhm...I don't know my dates.  THIS IS WHY I FAILED HISTORY! (well no, but I would have if I actually took the course  )Anyway, bravo for the most part.   |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Two things: One, I had a lot on my mind. Two, I had just finished watching "William Shakespere's Romeo and Juliet," the new version. So this is what came out.  I think it's better then the crap job I've been doing of late, but, I know I can do better. *shrugs*~Titus Es ist gut, daß das Leben die Toten studieren sollte. |
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*Belabebeautiful*
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
While I'll agree with other's that this was overly dramatic, I still liked it. I always seem to enjoy the form in which you write, even you semi normal stuff(meaning not out of a shakspear play!) Has an older sounding format to it that I really enjoy because It is not found as often anymore. Anyways I'm done rambling now! Good job as always. People always ask me why I don't look toward my future I tell them to many interesting things are happening today. |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Thank you. ~Titus Es ist gut, daß das Leben die Toten studieren sollte. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Friend? Good job on this one, Ti. I like it. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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