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Teen Poetry #6
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Darkness
Member
since 2002-10-17
Posts 202
The place just beyond my eyes, where my spirit flies.

0 posted 2003-02-06 11:50 AM


He who is not above the Power
Must succome to the Power
And he who has indeed succomed
Must live with that decision to do so
To not take control of his land and life
But to be governed by a body
With equal or less intalect
Although the controled man has chosen
He complains still, through harsh voice
About what is wrong...
About what needs to be changed...
About what he would do if he were...
In Power.
Does this man really have the right...
The right to complain to his greaters?
He did choose the way he did
To be controled
And in doing so would he not give that up?
I still wonder whether he really gave in
Or was it that he was forced to live
A life of Empty Complaints and Shallow Promises?

© Copyright 2003 Sam Prond - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2003-02-24 06:38 PM


So the problem here is that he's chosen to be without power.....and now he's mad that he does not have it?
I followed the poem, and it made me think of a lot of different things, but I couldn't quite follow what you were trying to get at.
Could u help me?

Look at the sun and burn your eyes. You'll be fine in the end.

*Belabebeautiful*
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA
2 posted 2003-02-25 12:43 PM


Well written as usual! I liked the context of the poem and the opinions and thoughts that you placed in it. Good idea to toss around in your head If he really does have a choice or not...Hmm..Once again go tme thinking! Well done
~Live and Laugh~

People always ask me why I don't look toward my future I tell them to many interesting things are happening today.
~Bella~

frolicking dolphin
Member
since 2003-02-23
Posts 268
my own special world
3 posted 2003-02-25 03:13 PM


Very well written, nice job expressing your thought in words creating many different thoughts in the reader's mind.

~*~Karen~*~

~Dream like you'll live forever,live like you'll die tomorrow~

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navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » Choices, Complaints, and Promises

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