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Teen Poetry #6
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"The Unforgettable Bean(s) in a Bowl"
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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"The Unforgettable Bean(s) in a Bowl" |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
"What would you like tonight, monsieur?" "A bean in a salad bowl." "A bean, monsieur, and a cup of tea?" "No my lad, not tonight, just the bowl." "How odd, I must say, that a bean in a bowl Would satisfy a man so stout as yourself." "Do believe, my good sir, that a man like yourself Would never understand my soul." "Your soul, monsieur, will be empty tonight." "Oh no, not tonight, good man. You see, like a bee..." "That goes bzz in the night?" "That it does, that it does, that is right. Like a bee, I am free..." "To order beans in a bowl..." "Yes, and no, that is not what I meant. I am free like a bee, in a summer breeze..." "Sir you bore my mind and my soul." "Well fine, if you want, I'll order a meat to satisfy your tip you fiend!" "Good sir, I mean not to disturb your life, but I think you do not know what I mean." "GADZOOKS, old man, do you know who I am?" "Good Lord only knows, bless his soul." "HIS SOUL?" "Like his soul, like your beans..." "WHAT A MEAN..." "In a nice big salad bowl." "I only ordered one." "One of what, my good sir?" "Bean." "Oh. Oh that's right." "Carry on. And waiter?" "Yes monsieur?" "Don't forget my water." ______________________________________________ Now if that ain't weird...I dun know what is. Except a bean in a bowl. ^_^ Moral of the story? Never discuss your soul in public, cuz chances are, no one will understand anyway. Just like how a bean in a bowl won't get the circuit running in one's brain. Moral 2? Well, you'll just have to find it. ^^ Getting to the point, Leah ps- You might also want to find the meter too. ^_~ It makes it more fun. ^^ [This message has been edited by chasing rain (02-01-2003 03:32 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 chasing rain - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ZetaCel Junior Member
since 2003-01-30
Posts 18 |
Wierd? Not at all. I believe there is no such thing. Differences is what makes us unique. If a pieace of writing does not make sense to most, it may contain some meaning to others. After all, there is 6 billion+ people in the world.  That was the most unique pieace of writing I've ever read(in my short life). Keep writing and you'll go far, even if only spiritually.  ------------------------------------------------------ |
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Marshalzu  
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Wow, this is utterly riveting at first I thought it was prose, then I read it again... This is such sweet and humourous poetry, you have been away far too long but with such a wonderful offering like this on your return I could hardly begrudge you your leave. I didn't pick the meter up until well into the poem though, maybe it wasn't strong enough, maybe I wasn't looking, one thing I did notice, was that there was an awful lot of repetition (my thing at the moment) some of it I felt was needless. Hmm... what else, well this is absoloutly wonderful to read, I was swept away, the meter and rhythm just carried the poem, it drew me in and in the end I couldn't stop reading and I wanted more. Hopefully that all makes sense but if it doesn't, well I thought it was great, welcome back, hopefully we will be able to see more of you work soon Andrew |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
I really liked this! Very creative. Interesting how a bean in a bowl can mean so much, eh? hehe Anyway, I really really liked it, going to my library. Thanks for posting it! - Cody - |
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aaron woodside Member
since 2001-09-26
Posts 256 |
Yah!! I love just about everything you write Leah, and this was no exception. This has to be one of the most innovative poems I've had the chance to read. <"How odd, I must say, that a bean in a bowl Would satisfy a man so stout as yourself." "Do believe, my good sir, that a man like yourself Would never understand my soul." "Your soul, monsieur, will be empty tonight." "Oh no, not tonight, good man. You see, like a bee..."> This was my favorite part. What may satisy one person's soul may not be enough for another. Some people don't need much to get by and others would need a three course meal. This was very nice. ex animo, Aaron There are no great men, only men in great circumstances. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Leah, I'm sitting here and I'm smiling at this. It would have to be one of your best pieces that I've ever had the pleasure of reading. It's such a play on words with lovely little twists everywhere. You kept me captivated from the start to the end which is extremely hard to do at the moment. I love it so it's heading into the library where I can read it over and over again. Well done. Definitely an enjoyable read with every element of you in it that I so much adore. Well done once again.  ~AF~ "Write something, even if it's just a suicide note." -- Gore Vidal |
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Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Hm. It seems as though in her absese, Ms.Leah has ascended! Hehe---I liked this. It was cute, to say the least...and I liked your moral---moreso, I liked how your writing obviously shows you had that in mind BEFORE you wrote it. To be able to incorporate something so simple, into quite an adventure like the one you've just composed---well, that's quite the talent. Vekrdehk fyc dra uhmo drehk E fyc kuut yd...pid, yd maycd E ymfyoc vuikrd vun fryd E pameajat eh... |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
*scratches chin* *more scratching* *pin drops* Funky stuff here, girl. I definetly got a kick out of it. By far from the norm, which is good. I've learned, yes, don't discuss your soul in public, for no one much really cares, it seems. A lovely write.  You never sent me a copy of that piece of artwork you did.  ~Titus  "On the plains of Hesitation lie the blackend bones of countless millions, who, at the verge of victory, sat down to wait, and waiting - died." |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Hello there. I liked this. I thought it was pretty creative. The dialogue was definitely interesting. As for the meaning of it all, I was trapped in a sea of vagueness hehe. Other than that, I thought it was great. This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'. |
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ljossberir Member
since 2003-05-04
Posts 81Ny, USA |
fascinating! I sense something philosophical here. Sometimes what appears to be nothing..... very creative, gives you a reason to read it right in the first stanza (the title,too!) You know right away, it's unique. I love how abstract it is. Pleasing to the ear, too. Nice. -matt |
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blueyedlioness Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 289USA |
How refreshing... as much as I love all the poems about love... and lost love... and problems... and happiness... and all the other emotions that people generally write about (including me :p ), it's REALLY nice to read something about something totally different for once! Awesome, awesome job. |
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