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Teen Poetry #6
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| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Who are you? |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733
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You played a game that didn’t belong to you You played a game that you had no right to Now you won’t take the blame for loosing Now you won’t accept you were in the wrong You weren’t invited You weren’t welcome You were safe you were neutral Then you made it sour The acidity ate away at me Corroding my being but You wouldn’t throw down your cards You wouldn’t accept defeat and walk away You kept lying you kept persisting Where was I when you didn’t need me? Where were you when I was needy? When I cried you closed your eyes when I left you cried Just a phase you wanted to be Just a phase was better than nothing No it wasn’t even a phase, it was a second, There was never a realtionship Now you use insults Now you use threatening stares Now you use hate now you call me fat I thought that kind of immaturity was something left behind In third grade I thought that kind of self-degradation was something for attention- starved children But wait, that’s exactly what it is That’s exactly the kind of behavior That’s exactly the kind of attitude You are a melodramatic, attention-starved child You are draining You don’t deserve me |
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| © Copyright 2003 Isabel Galaxia - All Rights Reserved | |||
PoetryIsLife 
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
 Nicely done, Isabel.  Nicely done. Very, very pissed off. You did it better then some 'pissed right off' poems I've read... did you take time to channel your anger into this piece?Personally, I would like to see more line breaks, several stanzas instead of just one. I think it helps the reader stay interested, and the author to be able to show when and where you paused in the empyting of emotion. The line where you used cried twice was the only line I didn't appreciated.... well, I appreciated it, but it distracted me. Again, a great piece here. I enjoyed reading it. ~Titus Studieren Sie die Toten für das Leben. [This message has been edited by PoetryIsLife (01-31-2003 08:34 PM).] |
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