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Teen Poetry #6
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Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

0 posted 2003-01-30 08:00 PM



Silence sweeps this house
and the walls suddenly seem hollow
allowing all the cold inside
to chew me up, and then swallow

The pictures froze, I see a cold gaze
I keep running, running from that face
I'm really trying, but I don't seem to move
I keep running, running from this place

The cold slowly seeps into my heart
in the tiny cracks from old heartaches
soon it will shatter forever
from a overload of mistakes

All crash and no burn
I fall to the ground
I'm chained there
no salvation can be found

...warmth evades me still...


If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain.

[This message has been edited by Spine Grinder (01-30-2003 08:01 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Staci Weidner - All Rights Reserved
PoetryIsLife
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Senior Member
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763
...in my boxers...
1 posted 2003-01-31 09:46 PM


Spine, Spine, Spine...

gripping! I loved it. The last line, especially. The line referring to cracks in your heart symbolic of a cracked sidewalk.... it all... the length, both of the stanzas and the poem as a whole. Loved it.  

"The pictures froze, I see a cold gaze"

This line puzzled me; not what you meant, but why I stumbled over it when I read it. Maybe:

"The picture's frozen, I see a cold gaze" or

"The pictures freeze, I see a cold gaze"

~Titus


Es ist gut, daß das Leben die Toten studieren sollte.

[This message has been edited by PoetryIsLife (01-31-2003 09:47 PM).]

Marshalzu
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Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
2 posted 2003-02-03 12:46 PM


I really enjoyed the read thanks for sharing it with us

Andrew

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
3 posted 2003-02-04 01:50 PM


Strong piece Spine Enjoyed the read!

Standing on the edge of the world
Now I don’t want you to catch me
I want you to let me
Stand up here and walk on my own

Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...
4 posted 2003-02-05 03:39 PM


thank you, i'm glad you all liked this. ur replies are much appreciated

If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
5 posted 2003-02-09 01:30 AM



Spine Grinder~
This is a very well written piece, and
I do believe it may be my favorite of yours.
Extremely well done.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

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