navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » Steel your pain..
Teen Poetry #6
Post A Reply Post New Topic Steel your pain.. Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California

0 posted 2003-07-06 04:49 PM


Every fiber of my body begs for it.
Every breath you breathe out I breath in again.
I'm living off of you, your my poison.
I'll drink your tears before they surface,
I'll cry them through my eyes.
To find but a spark to light the fire.
Your the lulliby that hums softly in my ears.
Things you've said I can't forget..
swarm within me, to wisk me off to sleep.
I'll kill your pain before its made manifest,
I'll bleed it through my skin.
I'll be the best thats ever been.
Every fiber of my body is yours..
I'll steel your pain, quickly..
just to see you for who you should be.

© Copyright 2003 Alexis Smith - All Rights Reserved
Alnilam
Member
since 2003-07-04
Posts 75

1 posted 2003-07-06 06:45 PM


wow...i usually have something to say, but it left me speechless...really amazing.

~*Alnilam*~
"The worst tragedy for a poet is to be admired through being misunderstood."

Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
2 posted 2003-07-06 07:47 PM


I'm living off of you, your my poison.


Arg I know this well... *hugs* I'm not sure what to say to this, but this is a good write, thank you for sharing with us

xxshadowxx
Junior Member
since 2003-05-17
Posts 43
Texas
3 posted 2003-07-06 09:05 PM


Hey that was a really really good poem great job!
           ~Carrie~

"Hard days made me, hard nights shaped me"

Song_for_Serenity
Member
since 2003-05-28
Posts 97
USA
4 posted 2003-07-06 10:35 PM


This is a great poem. I was feeling it the whole way through. I'm adding this to my library. Have a spiffy day!

~Angela
"Anything less than mad, passionate love is wasting your time...Life has too many mediocre things in it, love shouldn't be one of them..."

Kandi
Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354
North of Hell
5 posted 2003-07-07 01:56 AM


Sometimes all I can say is that I absolutely loved this. It was just so unique and expressive. I wouldnt change a thing about it.
Excellent jpb.
~Kay

Just wanna be funny,looks like the joke's on me.
So call me Captain Backfire.

dertah
Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584

6 posted 2003-07-08 01:30 AM


very excellent job.  i felt this one all the way through.
BrokenDreams
Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425
In The Clouds
7 posted 2003-07-08 12:54 PM


I know what you mean. *sigh* Nice write.

-Jen

I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not. -Kurt Cobain

Obsolete
Junior Member
since 2003-06-27
Posts 43

8 posted 2003-07-08 01:42 PM


Ah yes, two almost becoming one.

Well done.

Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
9 posted 2003-07-09 12:33 PM


This piece came to me so suddenly. And I've grown to really like it. The person its about means SO much to me, and I can't stand to see him hurting. I wish I could steel his pain if just for one moment just to see him be able to reach his full potential, to be the beautiful person I know he is, underneathe it all. Anyways..I really appreciate all of the kind replies. Thank you!  
Lex
I'm thinking of giving this to him..what do you think?...

[This message has been edited by Lexy (07-09-2003 12:34 PM).]

WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
10 posted 2003-07-09 06:58 PM


*Pauses for a moment to find my thoughts.*
This one left me speachless...
I haven't recovered yet..
W O W.
I love every line in here.
And the end...the end is perfect.
That last line holds the whole poem together, it makes a statement on it's own, but coupled with all the words above it,
you have TRUE ART.

WinterWren
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Honey
Member
since 2001-10-09
Posts 92
Hot girl From Canada
11 posted 2003-07-10 04:02 PM


wow i loved this
Jennis#1
Member
since 2003-07-08
Posts 112
IL, Usa
12 posted 2003-07-10 04:36 PM


Great poem. I hope to read more of your work.
*Belabebeautiful*
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA
13 posted 2003-07-10 10:37 PM


Stunning..lovng in a twisted sort of way, I absolutly loved it!
~Live and Laugh~

The problem with resisting temptation is you never know if you'll get the chance again
~Bella~

*Belabebeautiful*
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA
14 posted 2003-07-10 10:38 PM


Tiptoeing back in to add to my library .:shhhh:. don't mind me!!
~live and Laugh~

The problem with resisting temptation is you never know if you'll get the chance again
~Bella~

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » Steel your pain..

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary