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Teen Poetry #6
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Wonder why
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Wonder why |
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wvplayernotreally Member
since 2002-11-06
Posts 215yakima wa 
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Is there a reason for this madness? I long for the nights with peace allowing myself to get lost holding in nothing I can remember your face when I held you for a moment Never once did you cry Wondering why you had to go selfishness is all that consols me I could have taken care of you you didn't have to leave us we would have made a great family I would have been the best aunt you would be a year and a half when i drove I only know you from pictures I can't help mold your life from here I can't help you find true joy like I did Only in my dreams I can imagine how it could be I know your life wouldn't be better here You get to travel and have a brother A life i am jealous over Everyday I think of you don't think we don't love you Don't think we left you If I could tell you anything at all Don't wonder why his happened to you make a difference in this world thats all an Aunt can say to her niece, bye K.N " I think I got a tan from the light in which i was basking." [This message has been edited by wvplayernotreally (01-26-2003 10:50 PM).] |
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Skyfire 
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
*sits back and ponders* There's obviously some deep emotion in this one. I think that it would make a bigger impact if you took out the "bye" at the end. It just kind of detracts from the rest of the poem. Definitely a good write, though I'm sorry that you have to be going through this. |
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wvplayernotreally Member
since 2002-11-06
Posts 215yakima wa |
when I use the "bye" I am saying that I am alright with this loss, i can now move one. I said what needed to be said but shes not going to be my main focus in life anymore like she once was " I think I got a tan from the light in which i was basking." |
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snoduck Member
since 2002-11-15
Posts 99Selah, WA |
i really liked this one.... i can tell that you must really be having a hard time dealing with this. but i do have to agree with skyfire, the "bye" at the end takes away some of the 'oomph' that the poem has. but thank you for sharing this with us. -Erica- |
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AJMGW Member
since 2002-11-19
Posts 57Galaxy Roller Rink |
Its really hard to say goodbye to someone you care about. And we can tell that you cared. very well writen. AJMGW |
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CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
Could tell this had a lot of emotion. But it is better to be able to let things go, it still hurts and they're still gone, but to just be able to go on with your life... It's a hard thing to do. Very good write. - Cody - |
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