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Teen Poetry #6
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WindSong
Member
since 2002-12-23
Posts 313
Long Island, New York

0 posted 2003-01-26 06:21 PM


Smoothly, the moon shimmers accross the water.
Quietly, the colors of sunset fade to nightly sky.
Brightly, the stars fill the sky like that of a
child filling a bucket with sand.

I can hear the trees moaning throughout the wind.
I can hear the ocean roar with sadness.
I can feel the touch of war vibrate thru the Earth.
I can see the marks that were left behind.

Running prints of forever lay in the sand.
Another crab has a home.
But is washed away by the current.
Children rinsing off what little sand they have.

The echoing of couples love spreads swiftly.
Walking hand in hand under the blanket of stars.
Slowly whispering the words of wisdom "I love you"
A gentle kiss of love sweeps through, specializing the moment of forever.

I walk alone, watching the birds fly home.
I don't want to leave the calmness of life.
I love to be at peace with myself.
I love to be washed away by the current of pain.

I can hear the trees moaning throughout the wind.
I can hear the ocean roar with sadness.
I can feel the touch of war vibrate thru the Earth.
I can see the marks that were left behind.



I lie all the time - infact Im lieing right now!
Today was tomorrow yesterday.

[This message has been edited by WindSong (01-26-2003 06:25 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Kirah - All Rights Reserved
wvplayernotreally
Member
since 2002-11-06
Posts 215
yakima wa
1 posted 2003-01-26 09:04 PM


good write! i love the beach and you paint a perfect picture of it in all its peace and splendor. i am a hopeless romantic so i liked these line:
"The echoing of couples love spreads swiftly.
Walking hand in hand under the blanket of stars.
Slowly whispering the words of wisdom "I love you"
A gentle kiss of love sweeps through, specializing the moment of forever"

" I think I got a tan from the light in which i was basking."

Skyfire
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Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
2 posted 2003-01-26 10:31 PM


I like this. I like the way that you wrote as if you were observing, and at the same time a part of this scene
WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
3 posted 2003-01-27 12:56 PM


I don't think I'll ever dislike a poem of yours, they're all so good!
I like this one alot too, it was calming, smooth.
Great Job!

WinterWren
"Even a fool knows that we cannot touch the stars, but that doesn't keep the wise from trying."

foreverwithyou
Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 204
Wonderland
4 posted 2003-01-27 04:52 PM


i liked the way u described the calm peaceful beach that was kewl and i
also liked the way a few lines appeared again at the end good job!

               CATHY

"I am who I am who I am who am I?"

WindSong
Member
since 2002-12-23
Posts 313
Long Island, New York
5 posted 2003-01-27 09:38 PM


Thanks, winter. And everyone else...*shrugs*
Was it really that good? Lol. I don't see my work as good or anything. I just see it as a fun thing to do. Comes naturally. I can write all day long...but to MAKE me write about something would come out just like I'm writing an essay for history...all BULL PUCKY! Fake, redicoulously stupid...I don't know. I"m just rambling on as usual. Thanks a lot everyone!

I lie all the time - infact Im lieing right now!
Today is yesterdays tomorrow.


*Belabebeautiful*
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Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA
6 posted 2003-01-27 11:46 PM


I don't think I've read one of yours so far that I didn't like, This one is no exception.
The imagery here is breathtaking I love the emotions and the flow of the poem. It sounds very peaciful, calming.. Very well done.

People always ask me why I don't look toward my future I tell them to many interesting things are happening today.
~Bella~

[This message has been edited by *Belabebeautiful* (01-27-2003 11:47 PM).]

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