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Teen Poetry #6
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barbaraj
Member
since 2003-01-24
Posts 139
Nova Scotia, Canada

0 posted 2003-01-24 08:51 PM


Sea of faces

A sea of faces; they're all the same.

Do I mean more or am I just like the rest?

Either way I'm nothing.

I know all the answers but I'm completely oblivious.

Always the same, never changing.

Do I need to breathe? Do I need to collapse?

Did I ever breathe in the first place?

Disappointment drags behind me like an unending chain,

Just waiting for the chance to catch up.

The only thing I can't understand,

Is all those happy faces, one name or another.

How can they smile in the world of today?

What do they know that I don't?

Maybe I just know too much,

And I've burst my happy bubble



© Copyright 2003 Barbara Warner - All Rights Reserved
PoetryIsLife
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Senior Member
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763
...in my boxers...
1 posted 2003-01-24 09:02 PM


"How can they smile in the world of today?"

What a superb question, my lil' newbie.

"Maybe I just know too much,

And I've burst my happy bubble"

I can relate to these lines. I enjoyed this piece. Do you want a few thoughts I have on the poem, or do you not want any critiques? Welcome, either way. Welcome, newbie!

~Titus

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
                 --Aldous Huxley

barbaraj
Member
since 2003-01-24
Posts 139
Nova Scotia, Canada
2 posted 2003-01-24 09:06 PM


thanks. i'd love any thoughts you have about my poem. that's what i'm here for; to learn and grow.
blakloks
Member
since 2002-06-01
Posts 60

3 posted 2003-01-24 10:11 PM


sea of faces; they're all the same.


Do I mean more or am I just like the rest?


Either way I'm nothing.


I so agree with this. Love your poem!


There are so many parts of your poem I like I cant possibly put them all here, but I still love it. It sounds exactly like what I feel.

Thanks so much for writing this

WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
4 posted 2003-01-25 04:25 PM


Good first post! Welcome to passions!
I like this poem, yes indeed.
I especially felt the line, "Dissapointment drags behind be like an unending chain."
I can really relate.
Well done!

WinterWren
"I want you to believe in life. Will you find out who you are too late, to change?" -Dishwalla-

barbaraj
Member
since 2003-01-24
Posts 139
Nova Scotia, Canada
5 posted 2003-01-25 09:57 PM


well thanks all for the wonderful comments. i didn't expect my poem to be so well received.

A Person Who Asks A Question Is A Fool For Five Minutes, A Person Who Doesn't Is A Fool Forever ...


Skyfire
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Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
6 posted 2003-01-26 10:23 PM


"Disappointment drags behind me like an unending chain"

Ooooh, do I know this one.  I like this poem as a whole, and I'd like to see you around here a bit I'll lay off any "critisism" until I see something that needs to be critisised.
Welcome to Pip

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
7 posted 2003-01-27 09:03 AM


Welcome to Passions in Poetry, barbaraj - This is a wonderful place where you'll be able to post and enjoy the works of others while they're reading and enjoying yours...  Settle in and make yourself comfy...

Check your email for a special greeting...

AJMGW
Member
since 2002-11-19
Posts 57
Galaxy Roller Rink
8 posted 2003-01-27 12:18 PM


Hey great job! I'm a newbie too.
lets see more And see how we can grow!
Great job!
                     AJMGW

jewls
New Member
since 2003-02-04
Posts 3
canada
9 posted 2003-02-04 05:15 PM


this was a great read. i can relate to the emotion out forth in this poem. i especially enjoyed the firt three lines. they really hit close to home. keep it up!

Today was tomorrow yesterday

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