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Teen Poetry #6

untitled

jennilynn
Junior Member

since 2002-11-11

Posts 29
here with me

0 posted 2003-01-12 02:30 PM

The bright sun
that brings life to so many,
brings only more more pain to me.
How do you expact me to be happy,
when I've been used like a cheap whore?
I thought you really cared about me.
But all you cared about was getting some.
In such a short time,
you came to mean so much.
You acted like you really wanted me for me.
But I turned out to be too much.
You met your match in me.
I've got that same fire burning in me.
And you couldn't take it.
Why?
Why are you like this?
All I did was try to make it work.
But I guess I didn't try hard enough.

Now for the first time in my life,
I've been dumped
like an old piece of pizza.
You know you want it
But you're afraid that it'll kill you.
So you just throw it out.
Its the same with people.
If they aren't exactly what you want,
you just throw them out.
How do you get off treating people like that?
You will be rewarded for your actions.
People get what they deserve.

But the worst part by far,
is the fact that I still care about you
and I want to be with you.
Maybe I'll get over it,
maybe I won't.

I wish I knew how you felt.
I wish this would have worked.
I wish that before you left,
I could have told you that

I Love You.

This is the first thing I've written in a while, and I don't really like it. Theres no structure or anything but oh well. maybe someone will like it.

Jaime

Registered

Member
Posts 250

1 posted 2003-01-12 10:57 PM

"Its the same with people.
If they aren't exactly what you want,
you just throw them out."

I thought that this part could have been cut out because the description of the old pizza is enough for the reader to get the idea.

Other than that I think the poem was pretty decent. Whether or not these feelings are entirely true to your life, you portrayed this difficult situation very well. The conflict, the anger, the confusion, the betrayal, the love..

- Jaime

Shiva went on break now look at how much it's gonna take to make this place a space where we can breathe.

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