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Teen Poetry #6
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Pollita
Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 220
the unknown realm of insanity

0 posted 2003-01-10 10:07 PM


He stares at you with hate in his eyes, as you mysteriously choke on your words.
Lost in a world with no light, Everything is burning.
The screaming runs chills down your spine, while death calms you.
The flames are killing thousands, all you do is watch, and wait.

Everything is going down, Into a detestable existence.
all those people, not knowing what to expect to come next.
They don't know their fate, to live, and to die.
They won't dare forget what they saw, how could something like that possibly drift away from their minds.

One faceless person after another, falling and losing their grip on life.
They no longer will have to worry, their time has come and gone.
Nothing else will happen to them, they're free to go.
Life's court has found them guilty, and now they're being punished for their sins.

Everyone is trying to understand, how you could be so relaxed.
They won't ever understand, they don't know you well enough.
They don't look at death like you do, the pain is what keeps you.
Life is just the begining, and death will be your eternity.


[This message has been edited by Pollita (01-11-2003 10:58 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 Delaniie Quirk - All Rights Reserved
rm711
Member
since 2002-11-30
Posts 131
Wiltshire, England
1 posted 2003-01-11 05:44 PM


Really dramatic and it gives a very clear but horrific picture, really good poem.

"Some men see things as they are and say why? I dream things that never were and say why not?"
Rosie Mitchell

Android 17
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Senior Member
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664
Winnipeg
2 posted 2003-01-11 06:25 PM


Wow---this reminds me alot of my old poetry, Delaney. I must say...I'm thoroughly impressed! Considering your age, this is very...I don't know how to describe it. It's incredible! You use mannerisms, vocabulary and metaphors that people not even MY age would use! AWESOME Job Delaney! Keep it it...you've grown so much!
cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
3 posted 2003-01-12 12:02 PM


Wow, Del...wow!

I really dont know what to say, but you've most definately impressed me with this one. Gee woman, you should be out eating ice-cream and thinking about painting your nails...not death in the more gruesome of ways!

Nevertheless, I liked this. 'Twas dark, and I've still got a bias towards darker poetry, no matter how young you are. Wait till I get up there- I'll show you that the sun DOES shine sometimes

Are you scared?                                        BOO! Are you now?

Pollita
Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 220
the unknown realm of insanity
4 posted 2003-01-12 01:29 AM


Cherish: Aww thank you. and no, ice cream gives you brain freeze. and it makes your head numb (EVIL) and well the nail painting...not if it's not black, or some other dark shade!
I'm glad you liked it, and im happy to see you readin'!

Alex:Really! you mean it? it actually is like your old poetry!!!? SWEET!
I tried to talk my mom into letting me paint my room black. I don't think she'll let me!
And I wouldn't say that it's incredible. it's just my best piece yet---aside from that one about you  
yup. Im evolving into one heck of a writer!
yeah I think i've grown to. and I am no longer that stupid little happy, perky chick.
thank god thats out the window! and I have no one except for you to thank for that, alex dear! thank you so much for reading this. it really means alot to me that you liked it.

Rm711-thank you so much for your reply.

[This message has been edited by Pollita (01-12-2003 01:37 AM).]

Skyfire
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Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
5 posted 2003-01-12 02:19 PM


I've put off replying to this Del, because I honestly don't know what to say to it; it's that good.  
Pollita
Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 220
the unknown realm of insanity
6 posted 2003-01-12 02:25 PM


Aww really? Thank you rhonda!
*hugs* Hopefully I'll write more poems like this one, soon.


~*Bruises fade farther, but the pain remains the same, I still remember how you kept me so afraid, Strength is my mother for all the love she gave*~

[This message has been edited by Pollita (01-12-2003 02:31 PM).]

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