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Teen Poetry #6
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No More(I can't think of a good title yet...)
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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No More(I can't think of a good title yet...) |
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PoeTik JusTice Member
since 2003-01-05
Posts 186California, USA 
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This is a bit short...I was just goofing around and this came out...so tell me what ya think! And if you can...help me with a better title! Thanx bunches! --------------------------------------------- Your lies, your betrayal, Tears hidden, under my vail Easy fix, according to you, Your words, about to fall through Turning away, ignoring your games, Not standing, your crooked aims Stop lying, I'm walking away, Don't try, nothing you can say Don't speak, can't listen, No trust, in your ambition Don't lie, can't believe, No tears, left to concieve Don't try, can't forget, No truth, in your regret XoXo Love Alwayz XoXo |
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| © Copyright 2003 Serena Marie Corbella - All Rights Reserved | |||
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jeffwillett Member
since 2003-01-04
Posts 86Texas, US |
Very nice...i'd call it "Wronged", but that's just me |
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rxyfxy04 Member
since 2002-11-26
Posts 54lil' town in Virginia |
very nice flow.. it went along good.. and mm.. i think i would name it "deceived" (i cant spell. but anyways) .. very nice RxyFxy04 |
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Kielo Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109 |
 A very good poem. That is to say, I enjoyed it. That is not to say that I am a sadist, or some such thing, I merely enjoyed that... argh... lol... sometimes I talk to much. Well done. Now I'm shutting up.  Kielo I know only one thing, and that thing is that I know nothing. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
PoeTik JusTice~ Very nice job on this piece. You've expressed this quite well and I could feel the emotion as I read. I have to agree that 'Deceived' might be a good title for this one. Very nicely done. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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