navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » You've Got Me (it's a lil short but I like it.)
Teen Poetry #6
Post A Reply Post New Topic You've Got Me (it's a lil short but I like it.) Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Susie
Junior Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 36
Illinois

0 posted 2003-01-10 08:32 AM



If you're lost,
I'll be your compass.
If your down,
I'll bring you up.
If you need someone to talk to,
You've got both my mouth and my ears.
If you need someone who'll listen,
You've got my attention.
If you cry,
You've got my shoulder.
If you fall,
You've got my arms.
If you're lonely,
You've got me!

© Copyright 2003 Susie - All Rights Reserved
PoetryIsLife
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763
...in my boxers...
1 posted 2003-01-10 12:47 PM


Hi

This was lovely. You could easily sense what you were trying to show us, the readers, a sense of love, of caring, of support, and sacrifice: am I right or terrible off?

The flow of the poem, I must admit, at times faltered, but nonetheless, a good write.

~Titus

"A life unexamined is not worth living."
                       -Socrates

jeffwillett
Member
since 2003-01-04
Posts 86
Texas, US
2 posted 2003-01-10 06:12 PM


very nice, although one part struck me as akward:
"If you need someone to talk to,
You've got both my mouth and my ears."


vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
3 posted 2003-01-15 12:08 PM



Susie~
I really enjoyed reading this.
Some beautiful thoughts in this poem
and you've expressed them very well.
Nicely done.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » You've Got Me (it's a lil short but I like it.)

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary