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Teen Poetry #6

Walking Surrender

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

0 posted 2003-01-09 04:49 PM

Cold sweat beads up
on my forehead as
I challenge you
one last time.

I want you to know
after this battle
I will no longer fight
I'll walk out the door.

I am no longer
Jack's broken-heart
I am now
Jack's icy dark void.

Please..
s
t
o
p
fighting

You...Can't...Win..!

If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain.

EleanorMoonbaby
Member

since 2002-09-02

Posts 202
England, UK

1 posted 2003-01-10 05:22 PM

I liked this, especially the bit about Jack's broken heart. It sort of reminds me of this scene in Fight Club. This was an intruiging poem, to say the least, and was an interesting one. Well done.
Ellie

"I'm terribly sorry ma'am, my karma just ran over your dogma"

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

2 posted 2003-01-15 12:06 PM

Spine Grinder~
This is a well written piece and very powerfully done.
Great job on this.
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

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