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Teen Poetry #6
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lil cherry
Member
since 2002-10-02
Posts 86
Ont, Can.

0 posted 2003-01-09 12:58 PM


How can silence be this loud?
It penetrates into your very soul
Far away you can hear noise
But that’s all it is, so far away
It’s a dark hole just going on forever
Straining to hear just makes it seam further away
Panic creeps in as you realise
You have a half-hour to go
Boredom settles in the pit of your stomach
Waiting for you to mix it up to make to go away
The windows make the outside seem so inviting
Just wishing you could be there is painful
Again I hear voices far away
I long to be laughing with these people
The chair seems to get more uncomfortable the longer I sit there
I wish only to be out of this place
It tortures me to know the end is still so far away
Please take me away from this place
Take me away from this living nightmare
Make this painful silence leave my soul
Get me out of here


© Copyright 2003 Angel - All Rights Reserved
EleanorMoonbaby
Member
since 2002-09-02
Posts 202
England, UK
1 posted 2003-01-10 04:55 PM


Is this about an exam? Cuz I had a really nasty English Lit exam today on Tess of the d'Urbervilles, and it really puts a dampner on an otherwise nice day! Or is it about a really boring lesson? I'm guessing maybe it's to do with school anyways. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Ellie

"I'm terribly sorry ma'am,  my karma just ran over your dogma"

jeffwillett
Member
since 2003-01-04
Posts 86
Texas, US
2 posted 2003-01-10 06:04 PM


is this about being in the hospital or something along those lines?
lil cherry
Member
since 2002-10-02
Posts 86
Ont, Can.
3 posted 2003-01-11 01:41 PM


EleanorMoonbaby your guesses were very close.  i wasn't sure if ppl would be able to understand this, but it's going very well so awesome.
vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
4 posted 2003-01-15 12:48 PM



lil cherry~
I'm so glad to see someone responding to the
challenge and I hope to see lots more.
Now...for a guess..I'm thinking maybe study hall?  Am I close?
I'll be back, looking for an answer.
Thanks for participating in the challenge.
Great job!
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
5 posted 2003-01-15 08:39 AM


I think school, cause that describes the boredom etc. very well. That was what clicked into my tiny brain!

Riley

Morning mist clings to my face, and my soul opens up to you......

~KNIGHT44~
New Member
since 2000-11-21
Posts 6
ohio
6 posted 2003-01-15 01:22 PM


I can totally relate because I am taking my semester exams this week! Especially today!!!
Good job and nice desription.

~Friends are angels who pick you up when your wings forget how to fly~

foreverwithyou
Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 204
Wonderland
7 posted 2003-01-15 04:37 PM


hey this was good i thought that it might have something to do with school also nice job!

        cathy

"I am who I am who I am who am I?"

lil cherry
Member
since 2002-10-02
Posts 86
Ont, Can.
8 posted 2003-01-15 05:21 PM


ooooh vlraynes so very incredibly close, you're all right it has somthing to do with schoool.  but note the fact that there are voices i'm longing to be with, so not everyone is involved, that's a hint right there.  thanks for reading!
~~*lil cherry*~~

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
9 posted 2003-01-15 05:29 PM



Hmmm...could this, perhaps, be detention?

lil cherry
Member
since 2002-10-02
Posts 86
Ont, Can.
10 posted 2003-01-15 06:00 PM


that's it!!!!! it's a poem i wrote while i was bored out of my mind in a detention. good job!  hey guys please check out my poem perfection, no one has responded yet and i really want to know what ppl think of it, it's not my usual style.
~~*lil cherry*~~

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
11 posted 2003-01-22 04:42 PM


LOL... I was so proud that I came up with what this was about, and thought "I wonder if anyone else got it," so I read the replies... and I turned out to be wrong.

Death, detention, same difference.  

Parasite

"Faith" means the will to avoid knowing what is true.
~ Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

PoetryIsLife
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763
...in my boxers...
12 posted 2003-01-22 08:06 PM


Jeff's, along with Parasite's answers/guess' are great, to me, they're close to what I would have guessed. Not sure if I would have thought of detention.

I love the poem.   My only thought is the last line takes away from the poem as a whole, because it doesn't seem as eloquent.

~Titus


Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
                 --Aldous Huxley

[This message has been edited by PoetryIsLife (01-22-2003 08:06 PM).]

Ephraim
Junior Member
since 2002-12-07
Posts 24

13 posted 2003-01-22 09:01 PM


Enjoyed. I'm not sure if I would have guessed detention myself... something similar, sure, but I doubt I would have realized your true secret.  

E

[This message has been edited by Ephraim (01-22-2003 09:01 PM).]

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988
nowhere special
14 posted 2004-05-07 04:52 PM


I was thinking In school suspension. Cause of the voices out side, and being stuck in the chair all day... thats just what i thought.... I like this. Not knowing what the hell it is actually about for a while... ~lol~ I have done that with a poem i call 2 worlds..anyways.. awesome poem.. you hit the whole bored out of your mind thing realy well..

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

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