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Passions in Poetry

Life Won't Break Me

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lil cherry
Member
since 10-02-2002
Posts 97
Ont, Can.


0 posted 01-08-2003 11:47 PM       View Profile for lil cherry   Email lil cherry   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for lil cherry

Life wonít break me

I can carry its burdens
Though the weight may be unbearable

Life wonít break me

Problems will stack up
But I will trudge on

Life wonít break me

I will focus on the joys
I will spread what I know

Life wonít break me

Iím stronger than that
I can deal with these obstacles

Life wonít break me

Life is cruel
Life is unfair and unkind

But life wonít break me

© Copyright 2003 Angel - All Rights Reserved
Susie
Junior Member
since 12-19-2002
Posts 36
Illinois


1 posted 01-09-2003 08:46 AM       View Profile for Susie   Email Susie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Susie

That is so right~no matter what, you can't let life break you.That was a good poem~keep postin and thanx 4 the 3 replies~lol!
Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 02-15-2001
Posts 4465
Lurking


2 posted 01-09-2003 09:15 AM       View Profile for Marshalzu   Email Marshalzu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marshalzu's Home Page   View IP for Marshalzu

I really think this poem has a lot of potential but for me, the continual repetition of

quote:
Life wonít break me


adds so very little to the peice. If you intend to use repetition in this way then it should reinforce your point but it should also add a new dimension to the poem, if you really just want to make the same point then it might be better to reword that same point a different way. All in all though it was a very pleasant read and you make some very good points and observations. Hope to read more of your work

Andrew

Cats playing bagpipes and bugles

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member
since 11-27-2003
Posts 991
nowhere special


3 posted 05-07-2004 04:45 PM       View Profile for kissa~rachelle   Email kissa~rachelle   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for kissa~rachelle

kool. Short but sweet, in a weird way. Life is cruel, but you learn to live with it...I love the way you think.

I want a relationship i can finally sink my teeth into.~ Alexander Sterling

 
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