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Teen Poetry #6
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PoeTik JusTice
Member
since 2003-01-05
Posts 186
California, USA

0 posted 2003-01-06 03:09 PM


My heads in the clouds beside you
But I can't tell if your feeling this too
Frightened as can come the sky cries my fears
Paranoya seems to shed all my tears
Every moment breaks my heart
I can't take us ever being apart
A day can last for weeks
And suddenly my insecurity leaks

Hanging by a thread, your holding me on
And I'm worrying from dusk until dawn
I can't stand to lose this touch
Without you I'm missing so much

Here's my heart placed in your palm
And I can be anything but calm
I'm taking this one chance on you
Giving my all, wishing you are too
We're together and I'm catching that star
But we're apart and the moon seems too far
Baby take this love with care
I'm hoping for this to be something we can share

Hanging by a thread, your holding me on
And I'm worrying from dusk until dawn
I can't stand to lose this touch
Without you I'm missing so much
----------------------------------------
There is a lyrical version I have, but here is how I originally wrote it! Tell me what you think!



XoXo Love Alwayz XoXo
     *~Serena~*
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love, and be loved in return." --Moulin Rouge


[This message has been edited by PoeTik JusTice (01-06-2003 03:24 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Serena Marie Corbella - All Rights Reserved
foreverwithyou
Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 204
Wonderland
1 posted 2003-01-06 09:00 PM


this was actually pretty good the rhyming seemed a little forced but then again mine isnt alwayz that good either dont lisin to me LOL this was good going to read more now

         ###CATHY###

"I am who I am who I am who am I?"

roxywrestlegirl04
Member
since 2002-10-29
Posts 74
good ole DINWIDDIE
2 posted 2003-01-07 10:33 AM


this was good....definate twist to the other poems you have written about death and being alone and stuff...hopefully your life is slowly getting better...maybe..good job!
LIZ

live,love,and die...but take RISKS..thatz what makes life worth the living, love worth the heartache,and death the new beginning!

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
3 posted 2003-01-12 02:30 AM



PoeTik JusTice~
This is a nicely penned piece and I very much
enjoyed reading it.  I look forward to reading
lots more of your work.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

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