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Teen Poetry #6
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Trouble Breathing
Member
since 2002-11-12
Posts 63


0 posted 2003-01-01 12:24 PM


A star burns brightly,
During the day,
Brighter by night,
Watching as your dreams take flight
Everything you wished for in a nutshell,
Waking up to the morning and the smell,
Of the winter covered ground,
And the birds that are nowhere to be found


That is all I have for it so far. I like it, heh. Should I add more or is it good as is?

© Copyright 2003 Trouble Breathing - All Rights Reserved
WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
1 posted 2003-01-01 12:42 PM


That was good, short but sweet. I think it is good as it is, but it would probably be good if you added more too. Either way.

WinterWren
"I want you to believe in life. Will you find out who you are too late, to change?" -Dishwalla-

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