navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » Moving On
Teen Poetry #6
Post A Reply Post New Topic Moving On Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
CloudedDreams
Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 210
My Fantasy Realm

0 posted 2002-12-31 10:45 AM



I wrote this a while back... this was a real thing that happened to me .... Indulge!

This is a story of despair and hope
This is a lesson of truth and learning to cope
This is a tale of a girl who gave her heart
This is a tragedy of watching friends fall apart

A girl with sad, soft eyes of brown
So depressed, her smile seemed like a frown
She longed for someone who truly cared
Yearned for someone who would always be there

Friends she had, but love she lacked
She showed many affection, but none gave back
Every boy treated her the same
that is, untill the new boy came

There he sat shyly, all alone
In his sapphire eyes, strange white streaks shone
The girl befriended the boy with ease
She felt this would be meant to be

How she loved him but brave she was not
Instead a friend got him, and the girl was caught
For a while all was fine, all was calm
But that peace did not last long

The girl eluded the couple and respected their right
But when the girl got close,her friend's grip was tight
Insecurity devoured her friends mind
Accusing the girl of trying to steal her find

Screaming and yelling went on for days
Tears fell and hearts broke from untrusting ways
The girl fell in despair, she felt so sad
She never knew loving could be so bad

Finally the girl held back her tears
She decided to put away her fears
with a heart broken and a spirit sore,
She knew she couldn't love him anymore

She knew it would be for the best of them all
So no more hot, angry tears had to fall
The choice was difficult, but had to be done
She never intended to hurt anyone

So with a heavy heart a final sigh
She wipes the last crystalline tear from her eye
And though her love had been torn apart
There will always be a place for that boy in her heart

© Copyright 2002 Eliza K. - All Rights Reserved
Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...
1 posted 2002-12-31 01:24 PM


this was so sad, i really liked it. sorry this had to happen to u though.

If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain.

mindy
Junior Member
since 2002-12-18
Posts 34
VA, US
2 posted 2002-12-31 01:26 PM


I think the poem is very good. It describes a true life event...which is always good in poetry. You used good imagery..such as "crystalline tear"...We can see your heartfelt emotion. Great Job!
WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
3 posted 2002-12-31 04:31 PM


That was very sad, but truly beautiful. It was an extremely well written piece, very powerful. I liked this one alot.

WinterWren
"I want you to believe in life. Will you find out who you are too late, to change?" -Dishwalla-

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » Moving On

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary