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devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

0 posted 2002-12-24 10:42 AM

She wonders if you think of her
"Does he love me?"
She asks me in the dark
Does he think of his little girl?
Walked out when she was young
Messed up her life forever
No self respect
And none in return
No Daddy to be her hero
No one to save her
No man in her life
I ask if shes ok
Silently she nods
Lies she is used to
She spills them from time to time
I never know if I should pick them up
Or let them lay untouched
Poor Daddy`s girl
She holds on
To a man that let go long ago

____________________________________________________

This isn`t about me. I am one of the very fortunate people who still has their Dad. But this poem is dedicated to those people that dont.
*Allison*

"O My love
Please don`t cry
I`ll wash my bloody hands
And well start a new life"
-Good Charlotte

OtherSideOfTheMirror
Member

since 2002-12-19

Posts 245

1 posted 2002-12-24 12:20 PM

I liked it a lot. It had a rythm without any real rhyme scheme or division of syllables (none that I noticed) which I think shows real talent as a writer. The point was good and it was well stated. Nice job.

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

2 posted 2002-12-24 12:33 PM

very touching write.
I too, have my dad. Always was a daddy's girl. thanks for the reminder of how lucky I was to grow up with mine always around

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

3 posted 2002-12-24 12:39 PM

This is bitter, I love the irony of calling her "daddy's girl" in this situation... very creative.

Great work, Allison.

Parasite

It's amazing the effect ice can have on the world.
~Allysa

dinky
Member

since 2002-10-19

Posts 258

4 posted 2002-12-25 01:08 PM

hey,
this was really good.
i'm a daddy's grl my mom says.
i'm very fortunate to have my dad here also.
but this was a great write!
~samantha~

"sometimes i just feel like
quittin i still might
why do i put up this fight?
why do i still write?"

roxywrestlegirl04
Member

since 2002-10-29

Posts 74
good ole DINWIDDIE

5 posted 2002-12-25 10:04 PM

oh my...i almost cried

....that was really good...very emotional..good write!!
<3 ya!
LIZ

live,love,and die...but take RISKS..thatz what makes life worth the living, love worth the heartache,and death the new beginning!

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