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Teen Poetry #6
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NSnaomian
Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232
In my troll closet I be

0 posted 2002-12-23 07:00 PM



Staring at the ceiling,
not knowing what I'm feeling.
Pondering in my mind
why I can't seem to unwind.

My head burns with scorn,
as I think of you and mourn.
You brought me such grief
so when you left, there was great relief.

It just doesn't feel right,
fighting the thought of you with all my might.
We went so well together
but I can't help but wonder, is this better?

I know I miss you...
I just can't seem to forget to.
You're almost always on my mind,
even when I'm doing just fine.

My friends tell me it will be alright.
I just can't help but feel I'll never again fly.
With you was one, long soar
It was quite different, I never felt it before.

I loved it when we talked,
how we went along our walk of life.
Knowing you were continuously there,
thinking you'd always care.

Then that day you set me free.
It came along, as I wished it would never be.
I cried and wondered, what did I do wrong.
It all flowed so well...it almost became a song.

It was like it was rehearsed and played
as my mind said, "No thats not it" and strayed.
Now a days I look back on then,
think; how did I do all this, when?

It was every day, hour and minute of my life,
pondering how could I feel such strife.
At the beginning its what I wanted,
now its invading my mind, its being haunted.

I know all this shows my love,
my quest for answers from up above.
I'll never stop wondering why you changed.
I guess its not for me to know...until you say.

© Copyright 2002 Laura - All Rights Reserved
CloudedDreams
Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 210
My Fantasy Realm
1 posted 2002-12-23 08:44 PM


this is good... i enjoyed it... There are a few parts, though, that are a bit rough...you know, they kinda throw off the "smoothness" or rhythm(sp?) other than that, it is very emotional and very interesting Good job!

Yes there will be tommorrow, but will you be there to greet it?

DarkAngelOfTheStars
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 255

2 posted 2002-12-24 02:50 AM


wow yeah im going through this right now so i know how you feel in a sense. good poem
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2002-12-24 04:40 AM


wow! You write what I have felt recently...nice work!
roxywrestlegirl04
Member
since 2002-10-29
Posts 74
good ole DINWIDDIE
4 posted 2002-12-25 10:30 PM


wow....good job...i know exactly what your feelin!!! keep it up!! much <3...LIZ  

live,love,and die...but take RISKS..thatz what makes life worth the living, love worth the heartache,and death the new beginning!

NSnaomian
Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232
In my troll closet I be
5 posted 2002-12-26 04:22 PM


Thank you all for your replies, it helps a lot to know what people think!
Merry (late) Christmas everyone and have a wonderful new year!
Laura

"All that I desire to point out is the general principle that Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life."
-Oscar Wilde

WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
6 posted 2002-12-26 09:57 PM


WOW! That was soo good, and it really hit home, it hit home so hard I could've wrote it, except I wouldn't have thought to and the words would be different, and it probably wouldn't be as good.

WinterWren
"I want you to believe in life. Will you find out who you are too late, to change?" -Dishwalla-

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
7 posted 2002-12-27 10:49 PM



NSnaomian~
So much feeling in this piece and you've
expressed the emotions very well.
A nicely written piece.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

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