navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » Tourtured soul
Teen Poetry #6
Post A Reply Post New Topic Tourtured soul Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
*Belabebeautiful*
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA

0 posted 2003-06-12 01:33 AM


I find myself with a bit of a writer's block as of late..It's highly annoying because I have so many emotions that I need to get out!! Lately my father and I have been fighting constantly, it's gotten so bad that it only seems to stop when one of us isn't in the house, this on top of other burdens I've been asked to carry have really made me see the bleaker side of life lately and a friend of mine who is no longer alive used to help me through this so I guess this is to him. It's a little morbid so sorry for that and not one of my best but hence the whole writers block.

As I walk through the rain
my world is painted grey
memories and dreams long forgotten
the songs of yesterday

whitened fear claims sordid tales
As nightmare lies unfold
Sweetened blood and darkened breathe
cling to shadows of old

Silent illusions of the past
seen through hellish red
show in tasteless morbid fear
the peril of your death

Leashing out for reality
only to find my own
It's casted back to the murky depths
of a concience where I am alone

Searching for a fantisy
in which there are lighter skies
but the depths of my perception
find only distrusting lies

The stinging cut, the sight of blood
the sweet release of pain
the secret sin of open wounds
washed away free with the rain

covered up the arm
hidden away in shame
calling out for desperate help
to find myself wispering your name

Always strive for excellence never perfection.
~Bella~

© Copyright 2003 Bella - All Rights Reserved
lingering thoughts
Member
since 2003-05-03
Posts 70
Illinois, USA
1 posted 2003-06-12 02:37 AM


hey ! i thought this poem was very good !
ill have to look for more of yours, if you say this is your writers block
good job

*Cassandra

WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
2 posted 2003-06-12 12:31 PM


I hate it when I can't write and I have so much I need to express!
Another great poem from you, I really like this one, especially the end.
I hope life starts treating you kinder soon.

WinterWren
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

BabieDoll
Member
since 2003-02-13
Posts 268
BFE
3 posted 2003-06-12 01:26 PM


Great write. When I read it, I thought that would be something similar to what I'd write. LOL. Except, my poems usually don't rhyme. LOL. Anyways, keep up the good work.

~J.Lynn

"In life you must dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's never going to hurt..."

Song_for_Serenity
Member
since 2003-05-28
Posts 97
USA
4 posted 2003-06-12 10:08 PM


Hey babes! Even if you are experiencing writer's block, you still produce great work. Although, this is a lot draker than your usual stuff. Anyhoo, sorry 'bout the homefront. If you ever want to talk, I'm right here. Have a spiffy day!
~Angela
Kaydo
Junior Member
since 2003-06-02
Posts 17
Washington, USA
5 posted 2003-06-13 12:42 PM


The Poem was overall a good read...  To me though the first two lines don't seem to go with the rest of the poem, but after that it was and awesome write in my eyes.  Keep up the phenomanol work!

Work like you don't need the moeny, dance like no one is watching, Sing like your all alone, and love like you've never been hurt.

JenniX
Junior Member
since 2003-06-05
Posts 29

6 posted 2003-06-13 12:23 PM


Great poem. Reminds me much of my life except with my mom. Continue the great work
JenniX

peachesNcream
Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears
7 posted 2003-06-13 12:54 PM


This poem was great! Great great great! LOL. I loved the way you worded everything and so on. It was just great! LOL. ~Jess

"If I could give you one gift it would be my eyes...So you could see how it feels to be me looking at you." -Unknown

sing'n fool
Member
since 2003-04-17
Posts 82
Morris, Il
8 posted 2003-06-13 01:15 PM


I know you think it's hard with what's going on at the homefront, but don't worry.  Time heals all wounds, and wether you realize it or not your friend is going to help you through this.  Even though you can't see her she's all around.  As for the poem that was an excellent write.  You don't have writers block!  Just a different topic to write about.  You hang in there, and keep up the good work.  You always do good at expressing your self, and this is no different.  Good job.

Sing'n Fool (Michael)

Be yourself.  Say what you feel.  Nothing is wrong. To your own self be real!!

*Belabebeautiful*
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA
9 posted 2003-06-15 02:38 AM


wow you don't check a post for a few days and look what happens!! thanks for all the replys guys!! Specail hugs go out to Angela and Travis..love you two!! And thanks to all of you for your comments and you support.
~Live and Laugh~

Always strive for excellence never perfection.
~Bella~

morgansmiles
Junior Member
since 2003-06-11
Posts 25
hicksville
10 posted 2003-06-15 02:34 PM


Great Job...I loved it!
NickTofteland
Member
since 2003-06-13
Posts 74
MN, USA
11 posted 2003-06-15 10:23 PM


Writer's block, eh? Seems to me that your block has been lifted

Psalms 20:7 "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God."

Manth88
Junior Member
since 2003-06-15
Posts 45
IL, USA
12 posted 2003-06-18 01:40 AM


Hey liked your poem alot, I have the same problems with letting all my emotions out. So you are not the only one.

!^*Manth88*^!

DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
13 posted 2003-06-18 11:44 PM


Wow...I haven't been around here in a long time, but I'm glad I came back.  You write similar to me.  I'm really not sure what to say.  It has me sort of speechless, which is a good thing!!  Especially the last line...wow.  This one hit home, take all of the world's most wonderful adjectives and that's what I would have to say about this.  Wheww...I'm still speechless

**You can't always trust the people you want to**

IndigoEve
Member
since 2003-01-10
Posts 279
Etched in the illusion of time
14 posted 2003-06-19 10:48 AM


If this is your writer's block, then wow! I have read a few other things of yours, and I'm in love with your work. Emotions were conveyed beautifully in this piece.  Great job!

[This message has been edited by IndigoEve (06-19-2003 10:49 AM).]

rapturedmist
Junior Member
since 2003-06-23
Posts 30
USA
15 posted 2003-06-23 02:53 AM


writer's block..:insert cough here:
You know out of all your poems I've read tonight[and yes I have read more then two] I like this one the most. I think it did a great job at setting the emotions..if that makes any sense.
-RM

*Belabebeautiful*
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA
16 posted 2003-06-24 12:29 PM


wow! Thanks for all the replies everyone! Jeez I didn't honestly think that this one would get this many, I figured it would get mabye one or two and then be gone! Well anyways thanks for all the comments, aparently I was in less of a writer's block than I thought!
~Live and Laugh~

Don't look to me for perfection, for I will surely let you down.
~Bella~

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » Tourtured soul

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary