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Teen Poetry #6
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CloudedDreams
Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 210
My Fantasy Realm

0 posted 2002-12-20 04:59 PM



This song is dedicated to a friend of mine who once plotted to kill herself. These words are also to help change the minds of those ready to aimlessly throw their lives away......


Lookin at the sky
Hoping for an answer
Getting no reply

Searching deep within
Growing more lost
To find self again

Seeking feelings true
finding artifical memories
Becoming more confused

Closing out the world
Hating all things
Suicidal Girl...

(Chorus)
So blow your brains to the moon
Hoping death will come soon
Realize that you are only causing more pain

Go take all your pills
Make yourself Deathly ill
Only to let yourself do it again

So release the toxic fumes
Let them fill your room
Drive yourself insane

Make your wrists flow red
Imagine yourself dead
But what will you gain?

Your friends try to see
What's goin' on
But you choose to be

A pain to them all
Wanting more fear
As they watch you fall

So make up your mind
What will you do?
What will you find?

Close out the world
Hating all things
Suicidal girl...

(chorus)

(bridge)
The world is a pool of swirling darkness
Only because you refuse to see the light

Countless are trying to help
But you feed off your eternal night

You need to see the world
Open your swollen eyes

Awaken from your ignorant unconscienceness
And you will realize....

BUT ALL YOU WANT IS TO DI-----E!

(chorus)

what will...you gain??


Yes there will be tommorrow, but will you be there to greet it?

© Copyright 2002 Eliza K. - All Rights Reserved
OtherSideOfTheMirror
Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 245

1 posted 2002-12-20 05:07 PM


My you have such talent... seriously its really good.  It could be such a good song, too... it even flows that way in my mind as I read.

"But you feed off your eternal night"

I like this line a lot... its true and its really really well said. nice job on that.

I liked this part too:

"A pain to them all
Wanting more fear
As they watch you fall

So make up your mind
What will you do?
What will you find?

Close out the world
Hating all things
Suicidal girl..."

I especially like that you put in "Suicidal girl..." It adds a lot you may even consider putting it in other places... and the "As they watch you fall" really hits because its a great point and it makes me think. great job I'll keep up with you and i hope you become well knowN! maybe even as a musician! niice lyrics!

-OtherSideOfTheMirror


rxyfxy04
Member
since 2002-11-26
Posts 54
lil' town in Virginia
2 posted 2002-12-20 05:09 PM


great poem.. very sad. but good... i really liked the lines
"only becuase you refuse to see the light"
that is so true!!!

RxyFxy04

CloudedDreams
Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 210
My Fantasy Realm
3 posted 2002-12-21 01:11 PM


I would like to say thanx for the moderators opening this thread back. I am thankful. HAve a wonderful day

Yes there will be tommorrow, but will you be there to greet it?

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