Jill's poem(Long) - pipTalk Forums

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aaron woodside
Member

since 2001-09-26

Posts 256

0 posted 2002-12-20 04:45 PM

Hey everyone. Here's my new one. Kinna long, but tell me what you think.

Jill's Poem

I

If only you were mine
I'd stare helpless into those eyes of thine
and give of myself anything
for my joyous heart would sing
of all your precious wonders
your spell I've fallen under
your eyes bewitching
there can be no denying
by Her design
your touch divine
cross the line
and intertwine
your fate and mine
My dear Jill, can't you see
for you what I could be
all that you've hoped for
I'll cherish and adore
by your resign.

II

I wish that I could be
all you'll ever need see
a white horse and knight
armour shimmering and bright
amid Helio's rays
by your side through the days
holding close through the night
your passions ignite
when with me
and me with thee
you hold the key
Oh Jill Marie
for us to be we
The simple things you do
drew me into you
and never will I leave
if its your hearts reprieve
a lovers decree.

III

The freckles on your face
every one perfectly placed
they can only add to
the beauty I see in you
and starry nights fair
to your eyes; can't compare
their bluish, greyish hue
shows your soul true
they show your grace
and sugar and lace
and my place
in your embrace,
my breathing space
for no matter how low I go
in my pains and woe
no matter the tears I've cried
with you now by my side
I know, I"m no disgrace.

IV

But I'm not the man for you
even though my heart is true
because I've tried and tried
and everytime been denied
In your heart I've lit no fire
I've left something to desire
to which you oft implied
but through my selfish pride
I knew we were through
so now I take my cue
sit and construe
of what I should do
without you
I'm wholly inadequate
and full of regret
and I don't understand
what guided your hand
to finally say adieu.

V

Jill, it's a more then a shame
that it didn't work out between us
but to know you, and to have kissed you
I count myself lucky and blessed.
Comment away.

ex animo,
Aaron Woodside

There are no great men, only men in great circumstances.

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

1 posted 2002-12-20 06:27 PM

That was a very good poem. I liked the way you put some it in the old syle of writing That's hard to do, for me anyway, maybe for you it's easy. I don't know.

WinterWren
"I want you to believe in life. Will you find out who you are too late, to change?" -Dishwalla-

Angelwings
Member

since 1999-08-27

Posts 222
IL, USA

2 posted 2002-12-22 11:59 PM

Long time no talk Aaron. I like this poem. I wonder if you remember me. I like the old style of writing. It's nice to know some of us are still finding inspiration. Good luck in all the future writing.

If we're told we're bad, that's the only idea we'll ever have. Maybe if we are surrounded by beauty someday we will become what we see.

aaron woodside
Member

since 2001-09-26

Posts 256

3 posted 2002-12-23 12:25 PM

Chelsea!!!!! ya long time no talk. Been about as long as it's been since I've emailed Amy from on here. You posted this the same time as I was posting something to someone else. I'll give ya a call soon. And no I'm not really all that inspired. Just another girl, only this time an amazing one(which I don't deserve) deciding I'm not good enough. :sigh, Wonder what I did wrong this time. She says I did nothing wrong, but how else can I see it when she tells me she don't want a b/f then less then a week later gets one, with a guy she just met. Funny thing is she still tells me theirs a chance between us. I dont know what to do. Crazy women, I'm tired of em all.

j/k Catch ya later.

ex animo,
Aaron Woodside

There are no great men, only men in great circumstances.

[This message has been edited by aaron woodside (12-23-2002 01:20 AM).]

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member

since 2001-08-17

Posts 495
LI, New York

4 posted 2002-12-23 09:36 AM

Aww.. this was a very sweet, and WELL written poem! I liked it, it seemed to follow the entire relationship. I got one question. Was this written all at once or sections over a period of time? Well, either way, I loved the poem and hope to see more!

-Rich

"You can't hurt meee!! 'Cause I've got on my cheeeeese helmet!"

aaron woodside
Member

since 2001-09-26

Posts 256

5 posted 2002-12-24 01:30 AM

All at once. When I'm in a relationship I like, I don't forget much. sigh.

ex animo,
Aaron Woodside

There are no great men, only men in great circumstances.

OtherSideOfTheMirror
Member

since 2002-12-19

Posts 245

6 posted 2002-12-25 11:29 PM

I LOVE THIS! You're response on mine said you're not a good poet... Hmm I think YOU DEFINITELY ARE AN AWESOME POET!

Ok I'm sorry but any girl who ditched those words has some serious issues. You're so sweet kid!

much luv
-othersideofthemirror

aaron woodside
Member

since 2001-09-26

Posts 256

7 posted 2002-12-26 12:01 PM

Thnx other. Lol that's what I'll have to call you since you don't post a name, and I forgot to check your copyright.

If you want the whole story check the discussion forum-the alley-and the thread if you have something to scream about. I wrote a bit over there. Thanx again.

ex animo,
Aaron Woodside

There are no great men, only men in great circumstances.

OtherSideOfTheMirror
Member

since 2002-12-19

Posts 245

8 posted 2002-12-26 12:26 PM

Hmm, I'm a bit new at this and I honestly cannot find whatever you're talking about! Haha okay giggle at me but I looked... in any case great poem, and my name...

~*Cassi

aaron woodside
Member

since 2001-09-26

Posts 256

9 posted 2002-12-26 07:07 PM

Instead of going to the poetry forum go to the discussion forum. Go to "The Alley" and find the thread Something to scream about. It's under that thread.

Hope that helps Cassi.

ex animo,
Aaron Woodside

There are no great men, only men in great circumstances.

OtherSideOfTheMirror
Member

since 2002-12-19

Posts 245

10 posted 2002-12-26 08:28 PM

Okay I said I'm new not stupid... I of course went to the Alley I just couldn't find your thread! I did however go back after reading your message and found this thread and responded... Thanks for helpin me out!!! I won't be naive to this site for too much longer... I hope... :-/

-othersideofthemirror

CloudedDreams
Member

since 2002-11-23

Posts 210
My Fantasy Realm

11 posted 2002-12-31 01:15 PM

I know that this poem was posted a while back, but I just wanted to respond to it because I haven't had the chance to. I am really sorry that this situation has happened to you. I really hope you move on okay. this poem is very emotional and touching. It is very deep and the voice is loud and clear. This is a beautiful write. Hope to hear more, and hope things are a bit brighter.

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