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Adrift
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Adrift |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
Adrift Rubbing these sore old scars You can't see the ones on the inside And I can't make them feel better. Im lost. I've fallen into a river And I don't know how to swim. Searching so desperately And I don't know what Im looking for. Im alone. These raging feelings You can't see on the outside And I don't know how to make them show through. I want to find out who I am But I don't know where to look. Im lost. These feelings pushing so hard And I don't understand them. I don't know why Im crying But I can feel cold tears. Im lost. WinterWren |
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| © Copyright 2002 Stephanie White - All Rights Reserved | |||
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LTEvans Member
since 2002-12-06
Posts 72Lenham, England |
Great poem. I particularly like the randomness of the flow. Solipsism saves us from the atavism of the Equalitarian. |
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OtherSideOfTheMirror Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 245 |
rubbing old sore scars? I LOVE THIS LINE! i think if you had used it more throughout the poem it may be more effective as far as your point, but I still think its really good. I LIKE IT! i like the description of tears as cold... It really makes a good image. Keep writing and I will keep reading! -OtherSideOfTheMirror |
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HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York |
Hmm... this is an interesting peice. Yes, it is random, but it fits very well with the point you are trying to make. It came across very well! And, though I'm late in saying this, don't worry about this, we all feel this way, even myself, although me being who I am, that isn't saying much. *~Rich~* Too strong to give up, to weak to move on.... |
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