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Coloerd Tears
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Coloerd Tears |
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Susie Junior Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 36Illinois |
For you I have cried every color tears can be colored: The first tears I shed for you were red, I cried the tears of love because of the nice things you said. The next tears I shed for you were yellow, So happy that I found you and never want to let go. I even cried the purple, Because you always make me feel so cheerful. But then you told me something bad, You met someone new and now have what we had. Then my tears changed to blue, So sad because I still loved you. Then I started crying black, So mad because I wanted you back. But now all I cry is clear, Because emptiness is all that's left here. |
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| © Copyright 2002 Susie - All Rights Reserved | |||
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
But now all I cry is clear, Because emptiness is all that's left here. __________________ good and powerful ending. I enjoyed this poem, and welcome here to Pip! I liked the way you described the tears as colors, because its true, we cry for so many different reasons sometimes.. And I think the clear tears may be what hurt the most, because no one else can bring them color. Keep writing, and enjoy your stay here! Always, GG  - And so it was that time stood still - |
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OtherSideOfTheMirror Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 245 |
Then my tears changed to blue, So sad because I still loved you. Then I started crying black, So mad because I wanted you back. THAT IS SO GOOD! Oh my! The idea itself of colored tears is really really good, and the way you used it is incredible. Its not depressing but its not hostile, and its totally honest. The colors and stages are really good and its got a good rhyme scheme because its not tacky rhyming and it flows nicely. NICE JOB!!! |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Susie~ This is an excellent write. I really enjoyed the way you used the colors to describe your tears in this piece. Very creative and well done. Welcome to Passions. I hope to see lots more from you. ~Vicky P.S. Check your e-mail for a special greeting. "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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Smoothy Member
since 2002-12-02
Posts 119The dark side of the moon |
Wow, I didn't know tears could paint such a wonderful picture. Good job. Love conquers all, so I must be in a losing battle. |
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