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Teen Poetry #6
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Petey
Junior Member
since 2002-12-16
Posts 27
Idaho, USA

0 posted 2002-12-17 07:57 PM


Tell You

I don't know why,
But I just can't show you.
And I don't know why
I just can't ignore you.
I don't know why
I respond to your every call.
And I don't know why
You're the biggest distraction of all.

I can't tell you
Who you are to me.
I can't show you
What you're love would mean.
It's me forever only for you.
Deep in my mind I tell you a lie.
If you only knew
My heart would tell why.
Because my heart only says what's true.

I hope I can tell you someday.
I need to tell you the truth.
I wish you'd understand, I pray.
This is what I must do.
Must find the right words to say.
So I don't run in place.
I don't want it to be the same.
Can't stumble and fall.
I don't know why
You're the biggest distraction of all.
-Petey

Those who live by the sword, get shot by those who don't.

© Copyright 2002 Petey - All Rights Reserved
wvplayernotreally
Member
since 2002-11-06
Posts 215
yakima wa
1 posted 2002-12-17 10:29 PM


Good post...i can really relate

" I think I got a tan from the light in which i was basking."

xxxnuttyangelxxx
Member
since 2002-12-06
Posts 72
New York
2 posted 2002-12-17 10:47 PM


well done, I liked the rythem in this poem. Good write, keep it up =)

shea

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
3 posted 2002-12-21 02:33 AM



Petey~
I like this one.
I enjoyed the rhythm and flow and
you've expressed your thoughts well.
Nicely done.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

CloudedDreams
Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 210
My Fantasy Realm
4 posted 2002-12-21 09:23 PM


I was once this way w/ someone. I can totally identify w/ this song. Great Job!
OtherSideOfTheMirror
Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 245

5 posted 2002-12-21 10:16 PM


"I can't show you
What you're love would mean."

I liked this line, it's important.

"I don't want it to be the same.
Can't stumble and fall.
I don't know why
You're the biggest distraction of all."

I CANNOT TELL U HOW MUCH I LOOOOOOOVE that last rhyme. I love it. no other words. Sorry just, love that. LOVE IT! HEAR ME? LOVE THAT RHYME~!

ok well obviously I liked your poem.

-OtherSideOfTheMirror

aries_luv_ppl
Senior Member
since 2001-09-20
Posts 1448
Universal Mind
6 posted 2002-12-21 10:42 PM


oh once upon a time, I wish a friend of mine said this to me, but it never happened. Don't let her wait for so long! Keep writing...

Eliza Simmons
~Sometimes when I look back at what I wrote, I don't recognize the 'Me' in the past anymore.

Petey
Junior Member
since 2002-12-16
Posts 27
Idaho, USA
7 posted 2002-12-22 03:57 PM


Thanks everyone.   I'll be sure to post more of my stuff.
Heavens Tears
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 677

8 posted 2002-12-22 08:25 PM


Very nice job!  I especially like the end.  The repitition of "I don't know why" worked really well.  I get annoyed by certain repitition in poems, but I thought you did a nice job here.  Can't wait to see more!

*Me*
I'm pasteing my smile back on just to please you...  I always knew Elmer's glue was good for something...

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