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Teen Poetry #6
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wvplayernotreally
Member
since 2002-11-06
Posts 215
yakima wa

0 posted 2002-12-15 09:07 PM



Summer boys are the best boys to meet
The tall boys with dark skin
Their bodies blazing in the summer heat
Blonde hair blue eyes, beutiful

I meet guys like this all summer
Then comes the end
they leave you leave, what a bummer
Just to see them once more

Hours of memories stored in my head
Me and Zac chasing each other in the pool
Joey and I trying to play the silent game on his bed
The zipline wth Chris and our bling-bling

One summer come and gone
Then next summer you start where you left off
Playing soccer on the lawn
Sitting together at the bon fire

I only want to spend the summer with one
The one that was my "cousin"
We had so much fun
Only for the summer

Summer boys are perfect,wondeful
Longing once more for that summer
When the days were never dull
But, oh wait, it was just a dream


" I think I got a tan from the light in which i was basking."

© Copyright 2002 Malloree - All Rights Reserved
Skyfire
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Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
1 posted 2002-12-15 09:25 PM


Mmmm... summer boys are indeed delightful... Not that I would know or anything *grins*
Anyway, I like what you have here. There are a couple of spelling mistakes, and I felt that the rhyming was a little forced, but it's all good, you know?
Rj

"it was cute, it was like he was shy and didn't want to make it too obvious"
~ Reena
I'm Rhondiforous!

Rug_Burnt_Loser
Junior Member
since 2002-12-13
Posts 11
>>o.b.l.i.v.i.a.n<<
2 posted 2002-12-15 09:31 PM


I don't hear bummer used in poetry all that much... but not much rhymes with summer... cucumber?
I agree with skyfire, the rhyming seems a little forced, but a honest poem.

Overall, though, good job.

Keep writing.

~morgan

"In a photo the size of a kiss, a kiss in the shape of a bullet..."
~GlassJAw~
~siberian.kiss~

devinechild22
Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571

3 posted 2002-12-15 10:50 PM


You know what this reminds me of? It reminds me of that one song by those one guys...LFO
"I like girls that wear Abocrombie and Fitch I`s taker if I had one and which..Well she`s been gone since that summer Since that summer" OMG How embarassing..I know all the words to that song!
               *Allison*...
O I forgot bout the poem..I agree with "Morgan" the ryhming did seem a little forced but it was good none the less.


"O My love
Please don`t cry
I`ll wash my bloody hands
And well start a new life"
-Good Charlotte

[This message has been edited by devinechild22 (12-15-2002 10:51 PM).]

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