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Teen Poetry #6
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AJMGW
Member
since 2002-11-19
Posts 57
Galaxy Roller Rink

0 posted 2002-12-10 11:59 AM



I love him.
Why?
I can't explain.
He can be so mean,
Then so kind.
He helps me get away,
He helps me un wind.

Along time ago he hurt me,
I forgave him.
We were friends,
Ithought I was over him,
But i wasn't.

I got tangled in his web again.
Deeper and deeper we got,
I knew it was wrong,
He had a girl friend.
He lied to her to be with me.
Thought I ment something to him

The only problem was...

I Thought.
                      AJMGW

© Copyright 2002 Meilssa - All Rights Reserved
Kielo
Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109

1 posted 2002-12-10 02:07 PM


Wow. I must say, this was very good. Oh, and WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!! A great first post, and I am looking forward to the next one!

Kielo

I know only one thing, and that thing is that I know nothing.

barbaraj
Member
since 2003-01-24
Posts 139
Nova Scotia, Canada
2 posted 2003-01-27 01:04 PM


welcome fellow newbie! great poem

A Person Who Asks A Question Is A Fool For Five Minutes, A Person Who Doesn't Is A Fool Forever ...


*Belabebeautiful*
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA
3 posted 2003-01-27 10:56 PM


Welcome to passions!! Very good first write!! It portrayed a lot of strong emotions a very good thing to do in poetry It was an enjoyable read. Hope to read many more in the future!

People always ask me why I don't look toward my future I tell them to many interesting things are happening today.
~Bella~

PoetryIsLife
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763
...in my boxers...
4 posted 2003-01-31 10:43 PM


Welcome Newbiw!

Hope you enjoy your stay here. Be sure to make yourself known, flutter about, get to know the place. Never be afraid to ask questions of us moderators.

This piece definately has potential. You use stanza's well, and I particularly enjoy the ending. What you're trying to say with the poem seems a bit jumbled.... with a bit of work, it could mayhaps be a bit more clearer? This shows you are a poet... hope you enjoy the title.

~Titus

Es ist gut, daß das Leben die Toten studieren sollte.

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