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Teen Poetry #6
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dinky
Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258


0 posted 2002-12-06 08:51 PM


come home
spaced out,
crawled out,
my window
my whole life's like a crescendo,
the scream's keep gettin louder
go take a bath,
forget about all the crap
Why do they interogate me?
Can't they see i'm just not happy?
you dont care,
so i dont either...
Run Away Beaver


"sometimes i just feel like
quittin i still might
why do i put up this fight?
why do i still write?"

[This message has been edited by dinky (12-06-2002 09:05 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 samantha rae - All Rights Reserved
HopelessRomanticGuy
Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495
LI, New York
1 posted 2002-12-06 08:58 PM


o.0;;  I'm not quite sure what to make of this one, aside from the obvious.  (It should be mentioned that i'm running on no sleep and too much caffine.)  It was a really good poem.  Only one thing bothered me, and it's one of the problems I have in my poems, line length.  It kills the flow when the length of the lines suddenly jumps in length... but that was the only problem I saw!  Keep on writin'!  Good work!

                                                        Rich

"You can't hurt meee!!  'Cause I've got on my cheeeeese helmet!"

devinechild22
Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571

2 posted 2002-12-06 09:04 PM


This poem is about me!! I AM THE RUNNAWAY BEEEVER!!! YEA..Scuse me..I must go build my dam.
            *Allison*

PoeticGoddessOfDepression
Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439
I am everywhere
3 posted 2002-12-06 09:08 PM


DAMS! omg... ah hahahaa me and Keegan were talking about dams yesterday after English.. gosh that little man is funny!
Anyway.. yes... very interesting poem. I don't take baths.. i take showers.
Showers are good... they smell good.
there's this one guy.. and he always smells good.

GOD!!

Yes.. i liked the part about the beaver.. my favorite part... beavers. I like their tails.
Beaver.
Anyway... good write, good job, good show... and that my friends, is that!
ah ahahaaa

bye lol
~sara

dinky
Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258

4 posted 2002-12-07 03:53 PM


hey,
thanx 2 every1 for replyin, it means a lot
Hopelessromanticguy- thx, yea the length did kinda mess it up thx fro replyin and bein honest
allison(or should i say run away beaver)- thx for replyin but u didnt make the tape 4 me
sara- thx very much (i forgot what u said in ur reply but i do remember ahhaaha or somethin like that
~samantha~

"sometimes i just feel like
quittin i still might
why do i put up this fight?
why do i still write?"

foreverwithyou
Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 204
Wonderland
5 posted 2002-12-08 10:30 AM


i like beaverz..... i like em'!!!!

"run away with you if thingz dont go as planned planned and that could be a gamble i've already roled the dice"-EVERCLEAR LOL
nice poem sam i think that i red it over at brittz that one time the whole crechendo thing but the end the runaway beaver was a surprise i didnt expect that but "Yeah, Baby,YEAH!!! CATHY


"I am who I am who I am who am I?"

[This message has been edited by foreverwithyou (12-08-2002 10:32 AM).]

Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
6 posted 2002-12-08 12:17 PM


This is pretty good....
quote:
"my whole life's like a crescendo,
the scream's keep gettin louder"


but instead of gettin, maybe getting....not that i don't like that because that is how we talk, which kind of adds to it..because I don't know..but maybe..not sure....ok...good poem


Riley

Morning mist clings to my face, and my soul opens up to you......

devinechild22
Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571

7 posted 2002-12-08 05:29 PM


Samantha wants to be a rapper when she grows up. She can`t help but talk ghetto.
           *Allison* LOL

xxxnuttyangelxxx
Member
since 2002-12-06
Posts 72
New York
8 posted 2002-12-08 07:50 PM


I can relate to this poem very much .. i enjoyed it thank you..

shea

dinky
Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258

9 posted 2002-12-08 09:38 PM


what????
who said i wanted to be a rapper???
ok..
so i do, i know that it aint very realistic but o well...
who cares, i cant help it
anywayz..
again thx for replyin!
~samantha~

"sometimes i just feel like
quittin i still might
why do i put up this fight?
why do i still write?"

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