Teen Poetry #6 |
Solitude |
Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Surprise.. I know I haven't been around here. Truth is, I haven't been writing. Bad, bad, I know. I forgot how..theraputic it is..so..here's my latest self-help session. Barreling backward, I'm blinded in peace, curves unadjoined to the verse we composed; Comfort like pretense will snatch me from dust, thieve me from doubt and its wavering throes. If you remember the solitude kept, long nights awakened to dense purple bogs, I will forgive me for days that I wept thrashing in loveliness, cold with remorse. |
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© Copyright 2002 Carly Anne Van Dort - All Rights Reserved | |||
Jaime
Registered
MemberPosts 250 |
"I will forgive me for days that I wept thrashing in loveliness, cold with remorse." I particularly liked the lines... I'm not entirely sure why just yet though. I'll get back to you on it. I'm glad you decided to write at least this poem. I need to start writing again too. My brain has been lazy. Damn concussions. Jaime i was here |
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knightlyshadows Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791obscured vision |
Maybe you haven't been writting, Love. But for sure you haven't lost your touch. Beautiful write Carly. I miss reading from you. quote: Lovin' that. *nuzzle* “A single choice can build destinies, or destroy them.” |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
What's this I see? Dactyllic tetrameter with an incomplete dactyl at the end, a-la-crystal-catacombs? Damn girl, get your own meter scheme. You rhyme all weird. The last line took me off guard. Why do you do that to me? I like to be all smart, I don't like it when you burst my bubble by not rhyming all of a sudden. You're so mean to my brain, Carly. And you know, it says something about you when your cathartic poetry turns out such genius. Always remember that solitude kept. It's not such a bad thing. Brian Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. |
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Star T Member
since 2002-07-12
Posts 182Philadelphia, US |
yep carly that was a short but nice piece.i loved the last two lines.very deep..keep it up! |
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HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York |
Bash it...? Nah. If this gets anything, it's praise. I know how hard it is to just up and start writing again, and for the first attempt to be anything like this, is a GREAT acheivement. I loved it! 'Rich "You can't hurt meee!! 'Cause I've got on my cheeeeese helmet!" |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Carly~ Sorry I'm a bit late getting to this one. I really enjoyed this piece. The flow was wonderful. It really is great to see you posting again, and I hope you'll stick around for awhile. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Wow, as usual this is such a wonderful peice, I just loved the way it flowed, thank you for sharing it with us, it is a most brilliant peice of writing and I really enjoyed the read. Andrew |
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