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Teen Poetry #6
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TopGunLauren
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718
California

0 posted 2002-12-03 04:36 AM


When I need you the most,
You can't be here with me.
I'm spinning out of control,
And your not here to see.

My life is going down hill,
I just want it to end.
You aren't here to talk to,
I thought you were my friend.

There is nothing more I can do,
I'm in so much pain.
My mind is spinning in circles,
I'm going insain.

If I'm not here tommorow,
Please don't cry.
I love you and I'll miss you,
It was just to hard to say goodbye.

   Lauren

© Copyright 2002 TopGunLauren - All Rights Reserved
xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
1 posted 2002-12-03 02:27 PM


Wow lauren this is a really powerful piece and i hope that im just taking the pice a little too seriously cuz it looks like theres some scary stuff in there to me but i could have interpreted it wrong. Strong piece...and well very written.

Standing on the edge of the world
Now I don’t want you to catch me
I want you to let me
Stand up here and walk on my own

NeverSayDie
Junior Member
since 2001-01-18
Posts 39
Duluth, MN & Grand Forks ND
2 posted 2002-12-03 03:42 PM


Wow this one hits me in a personal way. I'm not sure if thats a good thing. Lets just say I have some problems with depression and having someone you love tell you that they didn't really love you doesn't help it. Sorry for my complaining i just needed to get that out. Very good poem. Well written.

Sweetpoet16m4u04
Member
since 2002-11-10
Posts 153
Ma, U.S.A
3 posted 2002-12-03 05:05 PM


Very strong and powerful write lauren. If you ever need a friend that will be there for you you can always email me or what have you.

Chris

Smoothy
Member
since 2002-12-02
Posts 119
The dark side of the moon
4 posted 2002-12-03 06:19 PM


Matters of love often get me into a state of depression. Very strong poem.
WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
5 posted 2002-12-03 08:08 PM


Little tendrils crept off that poem and grabbed hold of my heart! It was very very good! Keep Writing!

WinterWren
"I want you to believe in life. Will you find out who you are too late, to change? -Dishwalla-

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495
LI, New York
6 posted 2002-12-03 08:11 PM


This is a very strong, sad poem that pulled at my heart.  I know how you feel.  For what it's worth, I share your pain, and can say it'll get better.  I promise.  I hope that makes you feel just a little beter.

                                                                    Rich

moonguardian2004
Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 64
MA, USA
7 posted 2002-12-03 09:51 PM


wow that was a ver deep poem. i have had some of the same feelings that you have. you exspressed it really well. if you need a friend i am here to listen.

Meredith

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