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Teen Poetry #6

The last Word

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

0 posted 2002-12-01 08:27 PM

the blood has drained
the life is gone
what do you do
when no one cares?
no sympathy
i dont need it
what happens
when you never hear
from me
again?
the world keeps going
everyone forgets
give it 2 months
not even a smudge
i'm not angry anymore
just tired, desperate
three more days
that's all
i guess this is it
no more anything
i really don't
like small spaces.....

snoduck
Member

since 2002-11-15

Posts 99
Selah, WA

1 posted 2002-12-01 11:54 PM

I really liked this. Especially the twist at the end..
"I really dont like
Small spaces"
I think it gave it a unique sort of energy.

-Erica-

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

2 posted 2002-12-02 12:06 PM

i think the short lines you used in this piece really make it more meaningful and i was also a fan of the way you ended this. excellent work

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

ShadyMakaveli
Member

since 2002-08-21

Posts 128

3 posted 2002-12-02 01:45 PM

I really liked the short lines too, though i can never seem to write short lines, it's really great u can express so much emotion in so few words, good write, i'm looking forward to more from u.

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