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Teen Poetry #6
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Sweetpoet16m4u04
Member
since 2002-11-10
Posts 153
Ma, U.S.A

0 posted 2002-11-30 11:59 AM



Wishes

I wish I could be the one
You think of day and night
I wish I could be the one
You wish you could hold tight

I wish I could be the one
You want in every way
I wish I could be that one
You love more and more each day

I wish I could be the one
To look into those sparkling eyes
I wish I could be the one
That gets your every surprise

I wish I could show you
That you mean everything to me
And I wish you could be the one
To love me for me.

© Copyright 2002 Sweetpoet16m4u04 - All Rights Reserved
Agean
New Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 9

1 posted 2002-11-30 01:32 PM


great poem.. great repeated use of the first stanza,,  except on para 4 stanza 1.. but it won't fix right.. may i add a 5th para...

I wish I could be the one,
to have the strength to tell,
I wish I could be the one,
to have you wishing for me as well,

snoduck
Member
since 2002-11-15
Posts 99
Selah, WA
2 posted 2002-11-30 04:56 PM


I may have this wrong, but the impression i get from this poem is that you really deeply care about someone, but either they don't know it, or they do know and turned you down. But like I said I may have this wrong, but anyway its  meant to be interpreted I really enjoyed it. Believe me, I've felt the same way about someone... It was really beautiful and I love this poem. thanks for the read!!!


-Erica-

Sweetpoet16m4u04
Member
since 2002-11-10
Posts 153
Ma, U.S.A
3 posted 2002-12-02 03:40 PM


Thanks to all who replied! I'm really glad that others can also relate to this poem. Agean thanks for the 5th verse i knew i was missing something and that was it!! Thanks
moonguardian2004
Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 64
MA, USA
4 posted 2002-12-02 09:00 PM


great poem. i think i know who you are talking about. she is very lucky to have you even though it is not in that way. cherish what you have. i can relate to everything you have wrote. keep writing because they are beautiful!

~MERE~

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
5 posted 2002-12-03 06:53 PM



Sweetpoet16m4u04~
Lovely wishes and so beautifully expressed.
I enjoyed reading this.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

HopelessRomanticGuy
Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495
LI, New York
6 posted 2002-12-03 07:51 PM


I also got that this was about someone who dosen't know how you feel or turned you down, it actually reminds me of something like I'd write.  It was a great poem!  I agree with Agean though, about adding a 5th stanza... that 4th one is STUBBORN!  It really won't fix right!  LOL  Well, it was a great poem, and I hope to see more from ya!
                                                    
                                                Rich

"You can't hurt meee!!  'Cause I've got on my cheeeeese helmet!"

[This message has been edited by HopelessRomanticGuy (12-04-2002 11:54 AM).]

alex m
Junior Member
since 2002-08-27
Posts 12

7 posted 2002-12-03 11:14 PM


yes i as well feel this same way i think about a girl and write much the same way about her....anyways thought id say i liked your poem look forward to reading more



PrincessNets
Member
since 2002-10-30
Posts 103
NewYork, USA
8 posted 2002-12-04 09:15 AM


Great Poem!  I have felt much the same about a certain guy.  You truly know how to express yourself beautifully!  I loved the poem.

-Jeanette-

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