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Teen Poetry #6
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roxywrestlegirl04
Member
since 2002-10-29
Posts 74
good ole DINWIDDIE

0 posted 2002-11-28 11:07 AM


my love for him was really strong
but somehow i knew it wouldnt last long

cheating
     lying
       heartbreaking talks

life isnt always full of moonlit walks

like the waves crashing on the shore
my love for him grew even more

i was completly oblivious to what was going on
but somehow i knew it wouldnt last long

endless nights without talking
endless days without walking
he was never thinking
i was further sinking

           further and further
               till the waves took over

as we looked into each others eyes
    i realized
there was something there that i despised

something i hated
          someone i couldnt believe i had dated

in my heart and soul went
mixing with the strong current,  getting bent

in the back of my mind i knew he would do me wrong
somehow i knew it wouldnt last long

liek the sand on the shore
being taken over more and more

i started to realize i shouldnt be with him
the lights in my loving heart were growing dim

then on day he pushed me too far

now i am wishing on a bright new star!

© Copyright 2002 LIZ - All Rights Reserved
stephanie
Junior Member
since 2002-11-15
Posts 33

1 posted 2002-11-28 01:53 PM


hey liz!..ive already heard this one in and ive already told ya that i thought it was great but i just thought that id tell ya again...love ya bye bye
Stinky Twinkie
Member
since 2002-11-26
Posts 204
Dinwiddie
2 posted 2002-11-28 05:10 PM


you have a lot of references to the beach/water in your poems. I don't know if this is bad or good or what.   The "wierd" typing gave it a slightly different feel.  
roxywrestlegirl04
Member
since 2002-10-29
Posts 74
good ole DINWIDDIE
3 posted 2002-11-28 06:10 PM


a good or bad feel??....i think the reason i say so much bout the beach is cuz i LOVE it there...haha

live,love,and die...but take RISKS..thatz what makes life worth the living, love worth the heartache,and death the new beginning!

TopGunLauren
Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 718
California
4 posted 2002-11-28 07:13 PM


Great piece I really love it kep up the awsome work.
  Lauren

Stinky Twinkie
Member
since 2002-11-26
Posts 204
Dinwiddie
5 posted 2002-11-28 07:39 PM


a good feel I guess.  I'm not sure.  It confused me, which isn't hard, so this isn't saying much.  It was interesting....I'll just leave it at that.


-Stinky Twinkie-

quik
Member
since 2002-11-27
Posts 91
Dinwiddie,Virginia
6 posted 2002-11-28 08:32 PM


I really like it. It stands really good about what your talkin about. Keep it up and tell me what you think of mine
Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
7 posted 2002-11-28 08:34 PM


The poem was good and all but having the title in caps lock made me hesistant to read it. It was like you were yelling * shrinks back * Other than that...ok


Riley

Morning mist clings to my face, and my soul opens up to you......

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
8 posted 2002-12-03 03:24 AM



roxywrestlegirl04~
I very much enjoyed reading this poem.
I believe this may be my favorite of yours so far.
Keep up the great writing.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

quik
Member
since 2002-11-27
Posts 91
Dinwiddie,Virginia
9 posted 2002-12-03 11:35 AM


I love this piece and just keep going with it.Love ya lots
WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
10 posted 2002-12-04 12:11 PM


Very good poem, I like how you compared things to the beach and the waves and all that. You have a very good talent! Laugh often, love much, live well.

WinterWren
"I want you to believe in life. Will you find out who you are too late, to change? -Dishwalla-

lilibeelee
Member
since 2001-07-12
Posts 143

11 posted 2002-12-04 12:19 PM


very good write
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