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Teen Poetry #6
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stephanie
Junior Member
since 2002-11-15
Posts 33


0 posted 2002-11-26 10:22 AM



A mind filled with blankness
A heart filled with sorrow
A soul that is empty
praying for tomorrow

Today has no meaning
You tomorrow will
that is why you pray-
your soul you hope to fill

With love and compasion
or maybe just a friend
that you know will not betray you
and will be there to the end

Your eyes lately unfocused
or maybe your sight is clear
there's no one left in this world
to let your heart get near

There are knives in your back
and forks in your heart
he was like no other
but yet he ripped you apart

The one that gave you hope
tho only one to believe
has now left you in the dark
I have been decieved.

© Copyright 2002 stephanie - All Rights Reserved
Stinky Twinkie
Member
since 2002-11-26
Posts 204
Dinwiddie
1 posted 2002-11-26 10:28 AM


CRYSTAL...I mean stephanie!!!!!!! holy mackeral that was beyond awesome. You've got a knack for this writing  thing. Soon, our whole class is gonna be on here.  That oughtta be fun.  I cant wait for Nicole to get on here so I can 'criticize' her poems.  seriously, that poem was killer, I wish I could be serious like that.  I swear William just turned into a rabbit and chased me until I hit a brick wall.    
Honey
Member
since 2001-10-09
Posts 92
Hot girl From Canada
2 posted 2002-11-26 03:51 PM


beautiful poem.  you put forth a lot of emotions in this poem and i think thats what made it so good.  good work

It Feels As If I've Always Been Someone On The Outside Looking In.

He Who Laughs Last Thinks Slowest!!

lildevil
Junior Member
since 2002-11-21
Posts 47
missouri,usa
3 posted 2002-11-26 06:33 PM


good write it was so full of emotion and just wondering is this site a school project or what
stephanie
Junior Member
since 2002-11-15
Posts 33

4 posted 2002-11-26 09:32 PM


umm...it was assigned as a school project but i joined about before is was assigned...and thank you for your comment
rxyfxy04
Member
since 2002-11-26
Posts 54
lil' town in Virginia
5 posted 2002-11-27 03:04 PM


hey tippy!! i love you girl.. and of course ALL your poetry.  this one is really good.. alot of emotion!!

RxyFxy04

roxywrestlegirl04
Member
since 2002-10-29
Posts 74
good ole DINWIDDIE
6 posted 2002-11-28 10:56 AM


hey crystal.....i REALLY like this one...lotz of feelings! good job!!
           luv ya
             liz

Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
7 posted 2002-11-28 12:57 PM


I am not sure if I liked the first stanza, with all the a's and whatever. It seemed to take away from the poem. Maybe space them out a bit. Otherwise pretty good write   ....btw...like the title


Riley L. Grant


Morning mist clings to my face, and my soul opens up to you......

[This message has been edited by Riley (11-28-2002 12:57 PM).]

Skyfire
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
8 posted 2002-11-28 07:45 PM


Woah, the last stanza just got me. Thumbs up and welcome to Passions

No, on second thought, let's not go to Camelot.
~ Arthur (Monty Python Search for the Holy Grail)
I'm Rhondiforous!

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
9 posted 2002-11-29 05:58 PM



stephanie~
Very nicely penned first post.
I enjoyed reading this and I hope to see lots more from you.
Welcome to Passions!
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

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