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Teen Poetry #6
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ShadyMakaveli
Member
since 2002-08-21
Posts 128


0 posted 2002-11-25 03:52 PM


As fast as lightning
Times are changing
It's getting frightening
No use in exchanging

This life must be for me
Not what I had conceived
In my dreams I can't see
Never would I have believed

A life filled with wrongs
Searching for a happy thought
This isn't where I belong
Can't fight it, i'm distraught

Looking for some way out
A chance for something new
In my mind I have doubts
From what i've been through

I can't be motivated
Don't want to grow old
With you I hesitated
Watching my life unfold

© Copyright 2002 ShadyMakaveli - All Rights Reserved
Honey
Member
since 2001-10-09
Posts 92
Hot girl From Canada
1 posted 2002-11-25 05:14 PM


I was the first to read this poem * honey does her happy dance * anyway great write you really let your emotions flow with this one.  keep up the good work!

It Feels As If I've Always Been Someone On The Outside Looking In.

He Who Laughs Last Thinks Slowest!!

dinky
Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258

2 posted 2002-11-25 06:41 PM


hey,
this was reaaaaaaaaly good
i liked how it flowed
~samantha~

"sometimes i just feel like
quittin i still might
why do i put up this fight?
why do i still write?"

Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
3 posted 2002-11-26 09:14 PM


This was pretty good. The rhyming kinda made it flow a little better....one of the few rhyming poems I enjoy.....good job!

Riley

~*I found how to laugh, forgot how to smile, somehow your words, make it all worthwhile*~

clve527
Member
since 2002-07-08
Posts 200

4 posted 2002-11-26 09:16 PM


Starting a poem with a cliche is not a good idea.

Casey

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