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Teen Poetry #6
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Kosetsu
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450
Alabama, USA

0 posted 2002-11-22 10:49 PM



Someone come and hold me,
Before I fall asleep;
I don’t want to dream my dreams
And I can’t take the leap.

I can’t bring myself to face the ledge
That I’m slipping towards,
And I can’t seem to break away
From these tight’ning cords.

And even as they wind themselves
About my gasping chest,
I just can’t seem to rid myself
Of this emotional arrest.

So someone come and hold me,
While I’m still awake,
Cause I’m slipping towards the ledge,
And my rope’s about to break.

-----------------------------
Even worse than the last one...*sighs*

-Adam

© Copyright 2002 Adam Kamerer - All Rights Reserved
Skyfire
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Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
1 posted 2002-11-23 01:38 AM


*poke* is not bad

No, on second thought, let's not go to Camelot.
~ Arthur (Monty Python Search for the Holy Grail)

Kielo
Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109

2 posted 2002-11-23 02:26 AM


This poem made me ache. It was not bad. I rather liked it, actually.

Kielo

LCBS
Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532
Connecticut
3 posted 2002-11-23 11:01 AM


I don't think its bad at all, maybe some of your others were better, but this still gave me the chills.  You are very talented Adam, sometimes I think you can read my thoughts and spin them into poetry....Great Job!

~Lisa

P.S. Nice to see you back around the Blue, I've missed the way your poetry always brought tears to my eyes

And this little masochist, she's ready to confess

-Tori Amos

dinky
Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258

4 posted 2002-11-23 04:42 PM


hey,
i really liked this
especially the last part
cant wait to read more

"sometimes i just feel like
quittin i still might
why do i put up this fight?
why do i still write?"

quietlydying
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Senior Member
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz
5 posted 2002-11-23 04:54 PM


we are our worst critic.

and it's always better to be writing something than nothing at all.

i thoroughly enjoyed it.

good write and thanks for sharing.  

/jen/

i'm so bitterly disappointed.  betty, i think it's time you leave now.

lildevil
Junior Member
since 2002-11-21
Posts 47
missouri,usa
6 posted 2002-11-23 09:12 PM


((HUGS))

ITS ALOT BETTER THAN YOU THINK

Android 17
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Senior Member
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664
Winnipeg
7 posted 2002-11-24 03:38 PM


I'll admit, your previous work has left me more awstruck than now. But this is still enjoyable! ^_^

Rayndpnugah; ruf luimt E ajan pa cu cdibet...

Ceinwyn
Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175
VA
8 posted 2002-11-24 09:39 PM


why do you say that!? you don't give yourself much credit..

Kristen

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
9 posted 2002-11-25 04:20 PM



Adam~
I agree with the others.  This is not bad at all.
On the contrary, I thought it was quite good.
There is a lot of emotion wrapped in these words,
and you've expressed it very well and quite powerfully.
Good to see you posting again.  I'll be watching for more.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
10 posted 2002-11-25 11:32 PM


What r u talking about...bah....blah!! This isnt bad at all silly!!! I really liked this..i can relate to it actually so i thank you for that..i love poems i can relate to. Thanks for sharing

Standing on the edge of the world
Now I don’t want you to catch me
I want you to let me
Stand up here and walk on my own

punkrockerrobin
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Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
11 posted 2002-11-26 04:56 AM


adam dear i miss talking to you give me a buzz on yahoo sometime or email me sometime dear! *hugs*
robin

you either like me for who i am or you don't like me at all

DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA
12 posted 2002-11-26 03:26 PM


oh ive missed you! i really really liked this. especially the last stanza. excellently put together. you're brilliant and you know it

XOXO-Kiley

**You can't always trust the people you want to**

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