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Teen Poetry #6
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palmerj
Junior Member
since 2002-11-06
Posts 30
Coxsackie, NY

0 posted 2002-11-20 09:26 PM


I havent posted anything on here  for a while but I was inspired to write this after a crappy day

Look into these weary dry eyes
Observe a chilly november sky
Shooting Stars burn bright on nights like these
Their light grows with your loving touch
Their brightness dims as feelings pass
Fading away are my feelings

© Copyright 2002 Jay Palmer - All Rights Reserved
Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
1 posted 2002-11-21 09:46 PM


this was a good poem Jay. im sorta suprised no one replied....thats weird. anyways
hope to read more from you.

regina

knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
2 posted 2002-11-22 05:58 AM


hey, did you notice that you almost had an acrostic forming there? when the first letters of each line form words and such. You had 'lost' going. anyways! i did like this poem, but i thought it was too short. i felt it could be drawn out and expanded a few more stanzas because i really like what you had going so far. i just didnt want it to end so soon. good write, keep posting.

“A single choice can build destinies, or destroy them.”

Getting away, isn't Running away.

"The hurt that you try to hide, is killing me."

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