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Teen Poetry #6
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LCBS
Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532
Connecticut

0 posted 2002-11-19 01:16 PM


The trees tried with all their might
To stand up to the storm
I watched an ever losing fight
That held from dusk to morn
I cried with them for fallen leaves,
And broken boughs that once embraced
A graceless girl with many dreams
Who had out grown her tree in haste
And soon the sky stood calm, at peace
Yet the trees still bowed in pain
They wept for the winds release
And still they shed their tears in vain


*Written in the midst of a huge storm here in the Northwestern Corner of CT, that has kept me out of school for 2 days and counting   We just got our power back--let me tell you I could not live in the old days-3 days of no computer almost sent me insane.  Anyway, we lost all of our trees, and this poem sort of held a double meaning for me while writing it...*


~Lis

[This message has been edited by LCBS (11-19-2002 01:24 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Lisa Bednarz - All Rights Reserved
Auguste
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since 2000-02-16
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By the sea
1 posted 2002-11-19 02:34 PM


Lisa, I have to tell you, I really like this one a lot.  Wonderful use of imagery here.
majnu
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Senior Member
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088
SF Bay Area
2 posted 2002-11-19 05:04 PM


this was great. i love the flow and feel of this melancholy tribute to the trees.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

knightlyshadows
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 791
obscured vision
3 posted 2002-11-19 06:55 PM


oo I like  your critique message. *likes Jewel*

I thought this was beautiful Lisa. It was very touching and you wrote it well. Keep posting dear.

“A single choice can build destinies, or destroy them.”

Getting away, isn't Running away.

"The hurt that you try to hide, is killing me."

Skyfire
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since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
4 posted 2002-11-20 02:30 PM


Oooh, Lisa, I really really like this. I think it was just the broad spectrum of possible interpretations on this one that drew me in. That and I love anything to do with trees hehe

I am a Knight who says Ni!

quietlydying
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Senior Member
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz
5 posted 2002-11-20 11:42 PM


storms rock.

especially when they keep you out of school.



/jen/

i'm so bitterly disappointed.  betty, i think it's time you leave now.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
6 posted 2002-11-25 12:59 PM



Lisa~
I really love this one.
The flow and imagery are excellent, making it
a VERY enjoyable read.
I also must agree with Rhonda about there being
many possible interpretations...I like that.
And, of course, I LOVE STORMS.
Extremely well done!
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

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