»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #6
»
underneath all
| Teen Poetry #6 |
|
underneath all |
|
|
ryanna lauryn New Member
since 2002-11-09
Posts 9KS |
standing with false confidence joking gossiping with my “friends” in the hall she stands with undiluted certitude fearlessly steadfastly with no one at all my "friends’" and my discourse so clearly fake fraudulence false complimenting what we tumultuously pronounce to make others feel small she smiles sincerely and attempts to slip in her two cents courageously benevolently and though she hears snickers, she still stands tall. i stand and i watch with unhidden awe astonished amazed for she smiles through it all and i know it’s wrong, yet i stay quiet ashamed contrite a follower, shall i be called and she walks away, a smile still present undaunted undismayed for unknown to them, the court was hers. she had the ball. and i still stand with these people, these "friends" envious and wishing that boisterously i could call out to her, transgressing every rule not caring having no regard for my “friends” inane social laws but i don’t, for strength deludes me, you see i’m weak insubstantial confidence in myself; tainted and rubbed raw. so she does win this game, the court is truly hers she dominates it and so completely owns it she never stumbles, never stutters. she will never fall. and here i lay forever, underneath every peer, underneath all. "consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others." -jacob m. braude [This message has been edited by ryanna lauryn (11-12-2002 09:30 PM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2002 ~*~Tiffany~*~ - All Rights Reserved | |||
Skyfire 
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
"but i don’t, for strength deludes me, you see i’m weak insubstantial confidence in myself; tainted and rubbed raw." Ah, but because you can write these words, you will one day stop being a follower Believe me, I've been there  I honestly, truly pictured myself as you in this poem as I read each word. It brought back so many memories *sigh* A library piece, most definately. Thank you I am a Knight who says Ni! |
||
majnu
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088SF Bay Area |
an excellent peice of teenage americana. i wish i could go back to hs and post this in every classroom. -majnu |
||
|
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Very, very well written. This is a subject matter that is all too often abused by dull, lifeless poetry. However, you've written it in such a way that I cannot help but enjoy reading it, regardless of its overused subject matter. Excellently written. This is indeed a strong, thoughtful representation of the Teen soul. Parasite Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. |
||
|
xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
I never thought of it like this...i guess the other person really does win..but in a sense so do you because you realize all of this thats going on. I really enjoyed this piece..i think you did a great job. Thanks for sharing. Standing on the edge of the world |
||
|
vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
ryanna lauryn~ This is an EXTREMELY well written piece. You've done a great job of presenting this very important subject in a sensitive, yet powerful manner. Rhonda is very right. Just the fact that you have recognized these things and have gone so far as to have penned and shared them, says a lot about you. Just believe in yourself and the strength within you and you won't be a 'follower' for long. Again...VERY well done. Hugs, ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
||
|
LCBS Senior Member
since 2001-11-29
Posts 532Connecticut |
I have not replied to a poem in here for a while, so I want you to know how much this poem moved me. I have felt like this too often, and I have never been able to put it into words, thank you for expressing it so very well. I have good news for you too. If you can recognize the person you want to be, if you can set that goal, and you understand that you do not want to be lost in a charade of social ladders your entire life-Then you can certainly attain your goal of having that elusive confidence. It may be hard, almost impossible...but in the end, isn't it worth it? Just my 99 cents, not quite a dollar for ya ~Lis |
||
|
AJMGW Member
since 2002-11-19
Posts 57Galaxy Roller Rink |
very good. it sounds like it came from the heart. |
||
|
ryanna lauryn New Member
since 2002-11-09
Posts 9KS |
it means a lot that you guys liked this one because it was especially hard...not so much to write...but to just get the feelings i couldn't express verbally out in general. thank you so much for the compliments.' ~*~ryan~*~ "consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others." -jacob m. braude |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
