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Teen Poetry #6
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Riley
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since 2002-07-18
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in the pouring rain

0 posted 2002-11-12 07:03 PM



starting from the end and telling you the beginning

why?
the most evil of all words
it chokes most
stops people in their tracks

" All i heard was a scream , and then.... "
of course the voices trails off
daughters seeped in blood
laying 'cross each other
upon their deaths they called out
no one is ever there
all expected and going as planned
smiles creep slowly across them
go away please
leave
the ropes grow tighter
both children's voices grow tight
as the men gaze
evil
thats all they know
have known and will ever know
scared?
the gallop of horses
do you hear sister
long black hair flowing together
engulfing them
the wood is burnt as flames creep
each sits
one reading
the other dreaming
the reader?
challenged with everyday things
scared at times
never confident
the dreamer
always ready
confident and perfect
the kind everyone wants to be
which is the reason for she dreams
this is their explanation of that night of their death
no it wasn't written
it twas told to me
directly from each girls rosey lips
thick and full
speaking each word
and every one is true

starting from the beginning and telling you the end

~*I found how to laugh, forgot how to smile, somehow your words, make it all worthwhile*~

© Copyright 2002 Riley Grant - All Rights Reserved
Skyfire
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Riding
1 posted 2002-11-12 09:56 PM


Hmm... I'm not sure what to think about this one... I like it in a hauntingly disturbing way, and yet... it does really disturb me... That could be a good thing though, I just haven't decided yet :/

I am a Knight who says Ni!

Local Parasite
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since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
2 posted 2002-11-15 12:39 PM


This is so different... the storyline really intrigued me and caught my attention, and the way you wrote it was perfect.  Lots of good character descriptions and just enough visual imagery to give me something to picture.  Your unique language kept my attention held the whole way... truly a great piece, Riley.  One of your more thoughtful poems, for sure.

Although I have to admit I didn't really care for the first and last lines.  They seemed a bit unnecessary.  

Still, this is some brilliant, creative poetry.

Parasite

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
~Aldous Huxley

Riley
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since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
3 posted 2002-11-15 05:04 PM


Brian: The reason for the first and last lines is because I started from the end and told the beginning and so forth and so on. Thanks for reading


Ri

~*I found how to laugh, forgot how to smile, somehow your words, make it all worthwhile*~

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