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| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Garbage |
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devinechild22 Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571
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I throw away all of these memories Toss out all of the tears Burn all of the kisses Ban all calmed fears Give away all the sweet-nothings Hide all of the "I love yous" And put away all of the "little somethings" That meant so much to you Since your one true love Tore your heart in two |
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| © Copyright 2002 Allison Colgrove - All Rights Reserved | |||
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PoeticGoddessOfDepression Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439I am everywhere |
I like this... but at the ending (since i'm an idiot) i got confused... (and these are.. sort of.. examples, if i say "you, like some guy" 'you' doesnt have to be YOU, as in, allison) Is this about.. some guy that you like(d) and 'got rid of', or some guy that did something stupid to you- and left u for his 'one true love'? lol, i'm easily perplexed.. ne way, though... i'm eating salad.. i like salad almost as much as i like this poem, even though it bewilders me.. in a way (lol) What was that weird word from "Where the Red Fern Grows"? like... flabbergasted, or something.. lol. OMG... yesterday.. i dont remember why- but me and Jon were talking about jock-straps.. lol, yea, it was amusing. Aaron said he liked me, but i don't really believe him.. his exact words were "Jon does like you- and if he doesnt stop liking you, i'm gonna kick his *bottom*" well- maybe not exact but u get the point. GREAT WRITE!! it's goin in my PL (private library) talk to you soon, Sara (sorry for all the spelling errors, if there are any, i'm in a hurry-- and sorry for rambling and talkin about *JON*.. lol) "It's something I have to do..I was there too..before everything else..I was like you.." |
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Skyfire 
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Hmmm... I found this one a bit confusing at the end as well :/ I like what you have going here, but if you could maybe explain why you suddenly changed voices here, that'd be awesome  I am a Knight who says Ni! |
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foreverwithyou Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 204Wonderland |
i liked this one but do explain man omg i cant wait till i see john tomorrow!!!!  o i luv him luv him luv him!!!!  but if i smile like that then thatz it yo lol good john i mean job!!"I am who I am who I am who am I?" |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Not bad. The theme is interesting, as is the style that you presented it in... I thought this was okay, overall, but you've written better. Parasite Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
The title attracted me since its the name of my fav band  hehe...Oh god how i wish people were able to jus throw away all of the stuff you listed above..how easy and carefree would life be if that were possible? Oh...if only..its a nice though...good poem...thanks for sharing Standing on the edge of the world |
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Alone Afraid n' Away Junior Member
since 2002-10-28
Posts 19 |
I didn't really get it, the plot was good bt the writting was a little rough. Dont take i personally its still good |
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boy and his spirit Junior Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 41within my heart |
I like the lines: "Toss out all of the tears Burn all of the kisses" those were really strong lines, I really like how they are in there. it's a really interesting poem, I like it alot, although at first I was sceptical, you won me over. |
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wvplayernotreally Member
since 2002-11-06
Posts 215yakima wa |
Sounds like you wrote this in a hurry. It was good but you did change voices in the end which was confusing " I think I got a tan from the light in which i was basking." |
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PoeticGoddessOfDepression Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439I am everywhere |
Hey dumb dumb.. it looks like you have some questions to answer! lol I'm still confused.. help me!!! lol, mog. Mog is a funny word. Lol, i still like this, but it still confuses me. "then in violent frustration, he cries out to go or just no one. Is there a point to this madness? And then all that he was, is just a tragedy." |
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devinechild22 Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571 |
Ok.... Sara-You aren`t dumb Katie-I understand your opinion...I may not agree but I like to hear wht you have to say And to everyone else that wondered about the change of voices- It was sort of like a narrator stepping out and tellin the rest of the story....Get it? If you`ve heard the song "Guilty Concious" by Eminem and Dr.Dre.It is like they are telling the story but there is also a narrator that sets up the scene... *Allison* |
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dinky Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258 |
hey, i luv it eminem and dr. dre rule!!! they r da bomb (lol) they r 2 kool for u (lol inside joke sry had to say it) but this was good ~samantha~ |
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devinechild22 Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571 |
Does anyone even listen to Eminem? *Allison* P.S. Besides me Sam and Cathy? |
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PoeticGoddessOfDepression Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439I am everywhere |
ha ha.. eminem. ha ha.. eminem. Yea.. ne way.. heh- i still like this poem. I'm eating a blizzard, even though I wanted to go to arby's... heh- if you know why.  (ew... why does this make me sound like some sick person that finds peasure in eating arby burgers?? lol) yea.. ne way.. yea.. lol.. i still like this, yea..lol bye (i'm hyper.... i got a hug today!! I made andy mad cuz i called him dumb and josh gay..heh) "I let you, just a million times. I love you even though it isn't fair." |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
devinechild22~ I really enjoyed the rhythm of this. Nicely done. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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