navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » Her baby
Teen Poetry #6
Post A Reply Post New Topic Her baby Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
wvplayernotreally
Member
since 2002-11-06
Posts 215
yakima wa

0 posted 2002-11-12 02:24 PM



I sat there
She was sleeping
I held her young child
They both looked like angels

This answered so many questions
How she wouldn't ride the roller coaster
How she wore baggy clothes
She ate so much more too

In my heart of hearts i was mad
But i looked at my arms
Her was a precious baby
Gods miracle

my anger soo melted away
Shes my age, my friend
How could this happen?
She'll be 33 when her baby graduates

Why? This is going to ruin her life
but my arms tell a different story
Yeah its going to be hard
But she has me, so its okay

She can count on me
she knows that
Whatever she does I will be there
Never more the two steps behind


The baby in my arm streches
She coos an smiles
She takes my large finger in her small hand
She has a strong grip, just like her mom

I hope she turns out like her mom
her mom is strong,I will tell her that
her mom is amazing, i will tell her that too
I won't leave her, her or her baby

© Copyright 2002 Malloree - All Rights Reserved
Darkness
Member
since 2002-10-17
Posts 202
The place just beyond my eyes, where my spirit flies.
1 posted 2002-11-12 02:31 PM


Good piece I like poetry about real life situations it gives it more of a "from the heart" feeling which i think youve captured very well in this piece.

Best of luck.

D-A-R-K-ness

NSnaomian
Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232
In my troll closet I be
2 posted 2002-11-12 04:14 PM


That was very good, except for a few spelling errors, but who cares about those!?
Very cute message and it shows your strength and loyalty in certain situations.


Laura

"I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful."
-Bob Hope-

rimmie
Junior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 45
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
3 posted 2002-11-12 05:09 PM


Very well done i really like the message and stile you chose. It sounds like it came from the hert which is always abig accomplishment!!!

Best of luck!!!

~RuZ~

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
4 posted 2002-11-13 04:22 PM


Wow, this really hit me deeply... I love the sentiments you've expressed, you've covered it all... the worry, the doubt, and the acceptance.  It's very strong of both of you to be able to endure this.  

I particularily like your choice of title.  Excellent work on this poem, and I wish you the best of luck.

Parasite

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
~Aldous Huxley

Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
5 posted 2002-11-16 10:22 AM


The title really intrigued ( sp ) me....and the poem was not what I expected from it. It was very good. Very very deep. Great job....


Riley

~*I found how to laugh, forgot how to smile, somehow your words, make it all worthwhile*~

devinechild22
Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571

6 posted 2002-11-16 02:08 PM


This was amazing! I hope to see a lot more of you creeping around here...
             *Allison*

boy and his spirit
Junior Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 41
within my heart
7 posted 2002-11-17 12:17 PM


felt this was super sweet. I'd like to read more of yo poetry!
CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA
8 posted 2002-11-17 08:48 PM


Hey!  This is very good.  I know what you're going through here...  Very good write.

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?  

Savage Quiescence
Member
since 2002-07-29
Posts 326
Wandering
9 posted 2002-11-18 06:01 PM


I can relate, a good friend of mine is going through the same thing. I think this poem is very sweet, and except for some typos and such, I think it is good. Look forward to more!
~Sky

"Whatever life brings, I've been through everything, but now I'm on my knees again" -Creed

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » Her baby

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary