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Teen Poetry #6
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Marshalzu
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since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking

0 posted 2002-11-11 05:21 PM


Bonfire

By now you'll feel the smoke in your eyes
Offerings from parliment
Names long forgotten
Flames lick the pyre
Inspect the ashes
Remember the treason
Every year.

____________________________________
November 5th, Bonfire Night. We make a huge bonfire and throw effigys upon them and burn them to remind us all that blowing up parliment is not a good idea. . For more info I suggest searching for Guy Fawkes.

Andrew


Insert Sig here

[This message has been edited by Marshalzu (11-11-2002 05:40 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved
vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
1 posted 2002-11-11 05:29 PM



Andrew~
Well, I see you decided to go with a theme
other than your username, but I'm not complaining.
You did a great job on this, my friend, and
I found the story of Bonfire Night quite interesting.
I think I may have to do a little more reading about it.
Thanks for participating in the challenge, Andrew.
I hope to see you in the next one too.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Local Parasite
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since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
2 posted 2002-11-13 03:45 PM


Not bad, but read the damn challenge.  Username, not just some word you think of.  

I didn't care for this poem very much, probably due to the shortness of each line and the simplicity of the ideas you present.  The images were dull and you left them unarticulated... I think you could have gone a lot further with this if you drew out each line.

Just my opinion of course.

Parasite

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
~Aldous Huxley

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