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Teen Poetry #6
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Darkness
Member
since 2002-10-17
Posts 202
The place just beyond my eyes, where my spirit flies.

0 posted 2002-11-11 09:32 AM


In a minute with her...
My life comes alive,
My soul takes a breath,
My shell is broken and,
My smile shines like,
The Strip in Las Vegas,
All my troubles,
All my anger,
All my everything,
Escapes in that minute,
She really is my better half,
The key to my lock,
She opens me up,
In that minute I'm,
Renewed and mended,
Happiness is no longer a theory,
It's a reality,
But most of all,
In that minute...
She saves me,
Throw me a line,
And pull me out of that whirlpool agian.
(Self sacrificing again)
She could have chosen...
Chose to jut let me swim,
Swim head on towards that downward spirol,
But she did'nt,
And I just wish,
That I could give thanks,
(Thank you)
In this minute with her.


© Copyright 2002 Sam Prond - All Rights Reserved
Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...
1 posted 2002-11-11 12:26 PM


Loads of imagery. i liked it. good job.

You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see,but u cant close your heart to things you dont want to feel.

LoveBug
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

2 posted 2002-11-11 01:16 PM


This is so sweet! I'm so glad that you have someone who you can trust in and love this much. Your poem was very well written. Good work!

Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
3 posted 2002-11-11 01:19 PM


really sweet indeed
thanks for sharing

Darkness
Member
since 2002-10-17
Posts 202
The place just beyond my eyes, where my spirit flies.
4 posted 2002-11-12 06:45 AM


Thanks Everybody.
wvplayernotreally
Member
since 2002-11-06
Posts 215
yakima wa
5 posted 2002-11-12 01:51 PM


This is a really good piece of work. You make everything run so smoothly...not alot of people can honestly pull that off. I will be looking for more of your work

" I think I got a tan from the light in which i was basking."

cmonkiki
Junior Member
since 2002-10-18
Posts 11
Ohio, USA
6 posted 2002-11-13 09:44 AM


this was one of the best things that you have written.  i love you
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
7 posted 2002-11-13 04:13 PM


This is a very sweet piece.  I very much like this kind of writing, ya know... you gave it a lot of thought and put a lot of creativity into it.  It's always nice to read more of this kind of writing from you, Darkness.  

Keep up the great work.

Parasite

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
~Aldous Huxley

Sweetpoet16m4u04
Member
since 2002-11-10
Posts 153
Ma, U.S.A
8 posted 2002-11-13 06:24 PM


Very nice and sweet poem dark!! I enjoyed this piece alot with all the imagery and how smoothly it ran.

Keep it up
Chris

NSnaomian
Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232
In my troll closet I be
9 posted 2002-11-13 06:53 PM


As most everyone else said, it was very sweet. Nice work with this one, I love it and I'm glad you can find someone so great to love and spend time with.

Laura

"I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful."
-Bob Hope-

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