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Teen Poetry #6
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Morgana Le Fay
Junior Member
since 2002-10-25
Posts 22


0 posted 2002-11-10 08:40 PM


Her black eyes sound,
And I’m deep in dining style
I sigh and look out the window

I told them that I’m going
To try out for the play, sometime
Between the first cigarette
And the last

I drank some of her wine
White and soaking I felt it,
A gravity less pale

Her bees sting me through
The folds and I’m convinced
The fleshy mounds will
Birth me anew

What role do you want, they asked
And I thought about this

The pieces she glues together
In an abstract maze that some
Idiot glam doll in a gallery will
Pay 20,000 dollars for

As if it has a price

And I thought about this

Sometime between the
First cigarette, and the
last

by the woods, you hear it creeping, and you know, they're the blood in you

© Copyright 2002 Jaime - All Rights Reserved
Darkness
Member
since 2002-10-17
Posts 202
The place just beyond my eyes, where my spirit flies.
1 posted 2002-11-11 09:54 AM


Absolutely stunning. I loved this! Especially

Sometime between the
First cigarette, and the
last
Thats just plain awesome!

Great poem.

Darkness

majnu
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088
SF Bay Area
2 posted 2002-11-11 07:50 PM


well morgana, you have a pen for subtly and detail.

"a gravity less pale" how bloody excellent!

well done!

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

quietlydying
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz
3 posted 2002-11-12 12:18 PM


i am constantly amazed at your talent m'dear.

::green with envy::

this was intimidating.  impressive.  you.

i can always recognize your work a mile away.

do email me.  i miss talking to you.

/jen/

what if they gave a war, and nobody came...

clumsy
Member
since 2002-10-10
Posts 106
canada.
4 posted 2002-11-12 04:40 PM


this was so beautiful.
PoetryIsLife
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763
...in my boxers...
5 posted 2002-11-13 01:06 PM


So many questions come to my mind, ones I raise to come closer to understanding what you're saying:

Who is the 'she' or 'her in stanza three, four, and six?

Is dining style symbolic or not?

What do the bees, and their sting, stand for?

Is the play real or does it stand for something else?

In stanza six and seven, are you talking about a piece of art or yourself, perhaps you see both as one and the same?

"Between the first cigarette
And the last"

Is this inspired by Tori's 'Concertina' song?

But that's not what you want.... you want what I am hearing, while I want what you are saying. What am I hearing? The poem to me seems to be symbolic for finding your place in life (whoever), somewhere, somehow.... between the first and last cigarette.

Sincerely,
Titus

PS: Check your email, dammit.

"A life unexamined is not worth living."
                       -Socrates

Morgana Le Fay
Junior Member
since 2002-10-25
Posts 22

6 posted 2002-11-13 02:37 PM


Daniel, you know I will not explain my use of symbolism or personal meanings. Don't ask.

I will however tell you that "she" is me. I will tell you that generally my use of symbolism comes from or presents itself as literal. So the play is literal (we're having another in March), but it's also symbolic. And it was not inspired by Concertina, but now that you have mentioned it I see the relation. I wonder if Tori meant it in the same way that I did. I'll have to ask her sometime.

Thank you all. I appreciate you comments.

by the woods, you hear it creeping, and you know, they're the blood in you

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